The Azulyssey
by Nychothomas
Summary: Seeing his sister's condition get worse by the day, Zuko wants to see Azula happy again. Never losing hope, he sends her on a journey that will hopefully change her life for the better. A story centered around Azula's odyssey for happiness.Azula/Ursa/Zuko
1. Chapter 1 Prison Visits

**Now the series is over, it's up to the fans to tie up the loose ends. One of the most interesting loose ends in my opinion is Azula. Aang's story is pretty much over, so is Zuko's, though he can still come in handy as a secondary character. Azula's story however has merely begun. Her fate at the end probably was the most cruel of any person in the avatar world and it genuinely touched me. In my opinion there's only one person, who can saver her, and I doubt she'd be very willing to see that person. The story I'm writing will focus on Zuko, and his quest to see his sister happy again, in the first chapters, but don't get me wrong, this story is about Azula and the Odyssee she takes to reach her goal, Zuko is nothing but a secondary character.**

**Even though the title Azulyssee seems fitting, I'm not too sure it sounds good, opinions on it are welcome.**

**If people wondered why I didn't use a diamond cell. I'll say this: diamond might be hard, but it isn't tough, except for Black Diamond which is the toughest material I know of. Another disadvantage is the fact that diamonds burn and are hardly appropriate to contain a firebender. Corundum (the mother mineral of ruby and saphire) seemed like the optimal substitute.**

**Anyway: I don't own and probably never will own Avatar, the last airbender and its characters, nor do I plan to make money with this fanfiction. Enjoy the story and leave a review if you feel like it ;-).**

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**The Azulyssee**

Chapter 1

The silence was deafening. Two torches provided the only faint light in the room. A room specifically designed to contain the Fire Nation's most powerful prisoner. The floor, the ceiling and all the walls were erected, or rather bended, out of corundum, one of the toughest and least fusible minerals in the world. The bars that separated the cell from the guards' section of the room, were also made of corundum rather than steel. The only metal was to be found in the locks and hinges of the door that connected the guards' section with the rest of the prison. The cell itself could only be opened through earthbending. As the convict's impulsive and unpredictable behaviour made the guards feel far more secure guarding her from the outside, they only entered the guardians' section to bring her food. But even this action was limited to moments the prisoner was either calm or asleep. A hatch in the door opened and a pair of eyes could be observed scanning the room. "I think it's safe to go in, sir", the guard said.

The door opened and warden Poon entered the room carrying a tray with the girl's dinner. She just lay awake on the plank that was supposed to be her bed, not interested in what was happening outside of her cell. "Dinner is served, your craziness", Poon mocked as he dropped the tray and kicked it towards the cell. Grains of rice landed on Azula's face as the tray collided with the bars. Poon laughed and turned around. The presence of a second person standing right behind him, who had entered unnoticed, immediately startled the warden. "Yuh-your lordship", he stuttered.

"Pick it up and give it to her the way you should! … Oh, and apologize", the scarred Fire Lord ordered.

"Yes sir, certainly sir", Poon fearfully replied. He headed towards the tray and rearranged the food on it. "My apologies, miss Azula", he said as he shove the tray between the bars, "Enjoy your meal." All the warden got in reply was a hateful glare of the former princess. It made him feel highly uncomfortable, and he motioned to leave the room as soon as possible, only to be stopped by Zuko.

"If I ever see you treat my sister, or any other prisoner for that matter, like that again, I'll personally put you in that cell with her. I wonder how long you will be begging her to finish you before she actually will. Now leave us, I want to talk to her in private!" Poon rushed out of the room as fast as he could. Zuko proceeded towards his sister, the bars bended like a curtain as he walked through them.

Azula sat up. "I suppose you expect me to thank you, your lordship", she said annoyed.

Zuko shook his head and took a seat next to her on the plank. "You don't have to thank me and you don't have to call me 'your lordship'. You're my sister you can call me whatever you like … even Dumdum if that makes you feel better."

"How about hallucination?"

"I'm not a hallucination!"

"That's what all hallucinations want me to believe. You can't be the real Zuko, Zuko doesn't care about me, I could simply rot away for all he cares. And if you're not a hallucination, how come you 

just walked through the bars? I have to say out of all hallucinations I've had so far you're pretty much the stupidest. Still not convinced? Maybe you will be when I hit right thr…"

"Ouch!"

"That doesn't prove anything, you're just a very realistic hallucination, that's all! You won't fool me, I've got experience."

"You can never touch a hallucination, Azula, and the reason I walked through the bars is because Toph's just outside keeping an eye, err foot, on the guards. She bended the bars."

"Very well then. What do you want? You're only here to mock me, isn't it? That's what they all do. I must be the joke of the Fire Nation, hahahahaha, the joke of the Fire Nation."

"No, I just wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I don't know, about you. You are my sister you know, and despite what you think, I do care about you!"

"So you do huh? You sure have a funny way of showing it. Maybe I should thank you for locking me up in this gem stone. At least you respected my royalty, I doubt anyone else got a cell this valuable, not even father! Thank you oh great and mighty Fire Lord."

"Azula, could you quit the hostility, please?"

"Why? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? How do you think I feel Zuko? How do you think I felt when I was put in here? With this Poon goon mocking me day in day out. How do you think I felt knowing mother never cared for me and thought of me as a monster? How do you think I felt when Mai and Ty Lee dropped me like a brick? How do you think I felt when you left and betrayed us, after all I had done for you? It was me who brought you back home, remember, it was me who persuaded father to take you back in. I would have conquered Ba Sing Se eventually, with or without you. I didn't need to help you!"

"I'm sorry, Azula."

"Hah, I bet you are. No one's sorry. No one has ever cared for me … except for dad."

"You're wrong. I do care for you, I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Mother cared for you, you were just never open to it. Mai and Ty Lee cared for you, but you can't force friendship with fear, that's not how it works, it's bound to go wrong eventually."

"And why should I believe you? You're one of the few people who never feared me and I've never seen you care for me. Why would you start now? The only person who cares is father."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Azula looked up confused. "Our father has never cared for anyone but himself. He used you, Azula, you were nothing but a tool to him."

"No! That's not true. You're lying!"

"Think about it, Azula. He couldn't use me or mum for his plans, so he got rid of us. But you were perfect: talented, intelligent and most of all, you were less open to mum, she couldn't trigger your conscience. All he had to do was create you the illusion that he truly cared for you, mould you the way he wanted you to be, and he could get you to do anything he wanted, making you think that it was what you wanted. And look where it got you. When was the last time you were genuinely happy, Azula? When?"

It couldn't be true. Azula didn't want to believe it, but it all made sense. It made sense and she hated it. She truly hated it. Tears started to form in her eyes. Why was this happening to her? What did she do to deserve this? Upon seeing his sister cry, Zuko tried to comfort her, only to be brutally pushed away. "Just leave me alone!"

Zuko stood up. It was clear Azula needed some time on her own right now, and he would only get in her way. The bars deformed as he walked towards them. "I'm sorry Azula", he whispered as he went out, leaving the once so confident Fire Nation princess crying.

"That's about time!", Toph greeted the Fire Lord as he exited the corundum room, "So how did it go?"

"It's pretty bad", Zuko replied, "but I refuse to believe she's beyond help."

"You know, not that I don't think it's noble what you're doing, trying to help your deranged little sister and all, but forgive me if I don't share your hope for her. Or sympathy for that matter."

"I understand, but no one deserves to go through this, not even Azula."

"I guess you're right, though she comes pretty close."

"Toph!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. So, will we leave this depressing place now?"

"Not yet, there's one more visit I need to pay."

"Great, more family reunions. I suppose he's not beyond redemption either then?"

"I doubt it. Anyhow, this isn't a social call." Both benders proceeded through the dark hallway until they reached the former Fire Lord's cell.

"So, will this be a private conversation as well?", Toph asked.

"No you can enter with me if you like, it won't be that long, … I think." He opened the door and entered the room. Toph entered as well, but kept herself in the background.

"A second visit in such a short period of time", the fallen tyrant greeted his son, "I really should be honoured, I guess."

"Cut the flatteries", Zuko angrily interrupted him, "What you did to mum and me was pretty bad, but at least you never pretended to care for us."

"I take it, you're talking about your little sister", Ozai calmly replied, "How is she?"

"Don't act as if you care! You knew she was slipping, didn't you?"

"Obviously. She was in no condition to join me on our little eradication expedition, hence I had to find a way to leave her behind and make her feel OK with it. Making her the ruler of the homeland was the obvious solution."

"Even though you knew she wasn't ready."

"I suspected her growing paranoia could cause a major exodus out of the homeland, but what did it matter, as I soon would have the entire world at my feet. If she would end up ruling a barren wasteland, she'd only have herself to thank for it."

"How can you be so heartless?"

"Come on now, Fire Lord Zuko, it's not because I, unlike everyone else, covered it up, that I am the only one to blame. You are just as guilty as I am."

Zuko gasped. The confident look on his face immediately faded away as his father's words sank in. Ozai enjoyed every moment of it. He still had power over his son, and even though it was only a minor consolation considering he'd be rotting away in this cell for the rest of his life, it was a consolation nonetheless, a moment to be cherished. Zuko just turned around and left the room, his last whispering words to his father were: "Enjoy the rest of you stay." The doubt that could clearly be heard in his voice only made Ozai happier, as he was left alone in his cell again.

"OK, now I do feel compassion for your sister", Toph said as she and Zuko left the prison.

Zuko didn't reply. "What have I done to her?", was all he could mutter.

"What do you mean?", Toph replied in surprise, "You haven't done anything."

"Exactly." A single tear rolled out of Zuko's good eye.


	2. Chapter 2 The Solution

**Here's chapter 2. It's quite unique as it will probably be the only one in which Azula doesn't make an appearance, though it's still centered around her.**

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Chapter 2 The Solution

"You can't possibly be serious about this!" Mai's, usually indifferent, voice echoed loudly through the palace's dining room. "After all she's done, I'd say she's right where she belongs."

"Maybe she is", Zuko angrily replied, "but no one deserves to go through what she's going through."

"Maybe not", Mai's voice softened, "but she had it coming, Zuko. She lost her mind and there's no way of retrieving it now."

"There has to be! I won't give up on her, I can't!"

"Why would you go through all this trouble to help her, she never even cared for you."

"Yes she did … once."

"Well she had a funny way of showing it."

"I guess it runs in the family", Zuko whispered.

"Zuko, the Fire Nation needs you. You can't waste your energy on a lost cause."

"I'm not just Fire Lord for the free people, Mai. My responsibility lies with every Fire Nation citizen, including the prisoners."

"Even the ones that would have caused our nation's demise."

"You don't understand, Mai, she lost everything. And to make it even worse, she lost it all to me. I have to help her, I can't not try." Zuko walked towards the window. He sighed as he watched the twinkling stars. "Then again", he continued, "How could you understand? You don't know the situation, you never have. Your only brother isn't even old enough to talk."

Mai approached and put her arms around the Fire Lord to comfort him. She didn't speak. She knew he was right. She didn't understand the situation and words would only get in the way now.

The two of them just stood there, quietly, watching the stars for a couple of minutes until Zuko stood up again. "But I know someone who would", he said as he left the dining room and headed for his study. The room was messy, a perfect reflection of his mind at the moment. Zuko pushed off the scrolls that were lying on the desk and stretched a sheet of paper in front of him. He dipped his pencil in the black ink and started writing.

_Dear Katara,_

_I urgently need your help on an important issue. Could you pay me a visit if possible, please?_

_Zuko._

Once the ink had dried, he rolled up the piece of paper and went to the royal birdcage. He petted his fastest messenger hawk as he put the message in the tube on its back. In return for a small piece of meat the hawk took off on a quest to deliver its message.

A couple of days had passed when a young Water Tribe girls arrived at the Fire Nation's royal palace. She didn't have to think twice when she received the Fire Lords plea for help. The two of them had a special relationship, beyond friendship and beyond romance. He saved her life twice, though she wasn't particularly grateful the first time, and she knew he would have no doubts helping her if she had a problem. Nevertheless, she wondered what his problem was, it sounded serious, yet he managed to keep her in vain with his letter. But it didn't matter now, she would find out soon enough. She knocked on the big door in front of her. A maid opened it a few seconds later. "Good morning, miss Katara", she greeted her.

"Err … hi", Katara awkwardly replied, "I've been summoned."

"Come in", the servant girl said sweetly, "I'll inform Fire Lord Zuko of your arrival." Katara entered the big palace as the maid headed towards the throne room. She knocked and entered. "Your lordship, miss Katara has just arrived to see you."

Zuko stood up from his throne and went down the stairs. "Thank you, Lin", he said as he passed her, "We'll be in the garden. Make sure no one disturbs us, will you."

"Yes, sir", Lin replied. Zuko smiled at the young maid in gratitude as he left the throne room.

An intense hug united the two friends as they met again in the hallway. "Hey Katara", Zuko greeted her, "You look great. How have you been?"

"Well", she replied, "things have been quiet, so I guess that's alright and you look half decent yourself. … So what's your problem?"

"Azula."

"She hasn't escaped, has she?"

"No, don't worry, I would have summoned the entire group if she had. It's more of a … personal problem and I think you're the only one who would understand. Maybe it's best if we discuss this somewhere else." The Fire Lord motioned her to follow him as he headed for the palace garden. He sat down on a bench next to a small pool, in which a mother turtle duck and her ducklings were joyfully swimming back and forth.

Katara sat down on the other side of the bench. "They're so adorable", she remarked as she noticed the carefree water birds.

"I know", Zuko replied, "My mother and I used to sit here all the time and feed them. The good old times. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about, or maybe in a way it is."

"Oh, you're right, you wanted to talk about Azula. I'm not sure if I can help you though, it's not like I know her all that well."

"You saw what happened to her and you have a brother. I think that probably makes you the most qualified person I can talk to."

"Go on." Katara still didn't know where Zuko was going, but she had a feeling she would soon.

"Well, I visited Azula a couple of days back. And it probably won't surprise you that she's doing pretty bad." Katara just nodded. "It really hurt me to see her like that", Zuko continued.

"I guess she did get more than even she deserved."

"Exactly, and I want my old sister back."

"What!?" Katara's eyes were wide open in shock.

"I just want to see her happy again, Katara. And you said it yourself: not even she deserves this. Wouldn't you do the same thing for Sokka if he were in her place?"

"I guess I would try to help him, but Sokka's not a homicidal monster like Azula."

"She's still my sister."

"Yeah, but a lousy one at that. I mean, when was the last time she showed concern or care for you? Ten years ago?"

"Actually, she showed genuine concern for me in the short period that I was back home, before I finally decided to join your group. … More than I ever showed her." These last words were 

pronounced with genuine regret in his voice. Azula did show concern over him on several occasions and the only thing he ever returned was suspicion. It made him wonder who really was the monster in his family.

Katara seemed to be persuaded. It never came up to her that Azula might have had a human side. But how could she not, after all Azula was only a fourteen year old girl, and yet she had managed to hide that side from all persons, except the one closest to her. "I … I'm sorry", Katara broke the awkward silence, "I'll help you help her, but you'll have to face the fact that you might very well be her problem. … And I really doubt she wants to see me."

"I know … and I realize that I might actually be the problem, but I have to at least try."

"Agreed. Maybe it's best if you think back to the time she actually trusted you. Did she ever say to you that she regretted something or that something hurt her? Knowing her, she probably didn't, but try anyway."

"Actually there was something on her mind. Of course she tried to cover it up as if it were nothing, this is Azula we're talking about, but she sounded genuinely hurt when she told us."

"What was it?"

"She thought mother didn't love her. She was wrong of course, I knew she was wrong, but I didn't say anything. I guess I didn't want to break the armour she wore so proudly by pitying her."

"That's quite something, Zuko. I wouldn't be surprised if it still is the main thing on her mind."

"You're probably right. But in that case I guess there's only one person that can actually help her."

"I think so. Have you located your mother yet?"

"Father said she was somewhere in the southern Earth Kingdom, but he didn't know where exactly either. I guess that's why he told me so easily. I haven't really had the time to look further into it, even though there's nothing I want more than to see her back. But ruling a country doesn't really give me any spare time."

"Well, now you have an other reason to prioritise."

"I guess the Order of the White Lotus might be able to help me find her. They're quite resourceful."

"There you go. I guess that's settled then. So how's Toph? Enjoying her holiday?"

"I guess. She's roaming the streets more often than she's with us."

"Well, she is quite fond of her freedom."

"She is. And she's still determined to go on a field trip with me, so I promised her she could be my bodyguard on one of my diplomatic missions to the Earth Kingdom next week. I'm visiting some old friends and people that I treated unjustly during my time as a refugee. I told her it'd probably be boring, but she insisted."

"She'll love it. And there's no way you can get a better bodyguard than her. Maybe you can find your mother on the same trip, sure would spare you some effort."

"I guess, though I doubt there would be time for it, unless of course it happens to be on the route. … Who am I fooling? I'm the Fire Lord, I can make time for it or at least find another way."

"It's your call. … Anything else you want to talk to me about? Now that I'm here, you might as well take advantage of the situation."

Zuko shook his head. "Nothing I can think of for the moment."

"Well then, it's been a pleasure seeing you again, Zuko."

"Same here, thank you, Katara."

"That's what friends are for, Zuko."


	3. Chapter 3 Second Chance

**This chapter is a bit longer than the previous ones. Zuko's actions might be a bit controversial, but I think he's capable of doing it.**

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Chapter 3 Second Chance

The prison tower seemed to be as quiet as always as the Fire Lord and his young, free-lance bodyguard approached it. Nothing seemed to be less true, however. As they entered the building all the guards were running around and about, often colliding with each other and falling over, commotion and chaos reigned. The Fire Lord stopped one of the guards who was running downstairs with a water bag. "What's going on here?", the Fire Lord demanded.

"It's your sister, your lordship", the shocked guard replied, "she's having a panic attack."

"Is that something new?", Zuko asked.

"Not really, sir, but it gets worse by the day and this time she's firebending at the same time, her cell's probably an oven by now."

"You're not planning to cool down her cell using water are you?", the Fire Lord questioned as he pointed towards the filled water bag under the guard's arm.

"Actually …", the guard started.

"Have you gone insane? As long as she's bending it won't cool her cell at all. Even worse, the steam could burn her … badly. I don't want any more water to go down there, is that understood!"

"Yes sir", the flabbergasted guard replied. He immediately ran up to inform the other guards of the Fire Lord's order.

The Fire Lord turned towards the young earthbender behind him. "Toph, do you know what spots to hit to block Azula's chi?"

"Obviously … not! I'm not the circus freak, you know", the blind girl replied in a sarcastic and less than pleased tone.

"Can you immobilize her? We have to stop her before the lack of oxygen will?"

"Already done", she said after having kicked the floor twice.

"What is she doing?", the Fire Lord asked with apparent concern in his voice.

"She's pretty agitated", Toph replied, "No wait … she's calming down, crying I think."

Zuko took off most of his armor and robes until he was only wearing a shirt and pants. "Get me into her cell and let her go the moment I'm in!"

"Okidoki", she said as Zuko disappeared into the floor.

Azula cried, or at least she tried to. The heat evaporated most of the fluid in her eyes, leaving behind a salty, stinging residue. It hurt her eyes, but it hurt her even more that she couldn't move a muscle except for her head. It only made her want to cry even more, giving rise to a vicious circle. Her breath was short, almost hyperventilating, an effect of the drastically reduced oxygen levels. As her brother seemed to appear out of nowhere, she felt the support the rock gave her fade away. She instantly fell straight into her brother's arms. The reunion was only short though as she pushed him away from her as fast as she had fallen. "Get away from me!", she yelled, "Don't you think you've done enough damage already."

Zuko calmly walked towards his sister. "Azula, pl…"

"GET LOST!" Her voice could probably be heard by the entire prison tower, but her voice wasn't the only thing she had used to get Zuko away. Blood started dripping out of three fine lines under his scar. Three lines that hadn't previously been there. Azula hadn't moved her hand back since the strike. A faint red colour could be observed at the point of her long and sharp nails.

His sister's outburst had scared Zuko. He took a step backwards in awe. The sauna temperatures and low oxygen levels didn't really help him either, though at least the latter seemed to be improving. Azula wouldn't listen to him, but she had to, he was doing this for her. He knelt, not knowing in what other way to get her to listen to him. Pride was not at its place in a situation like this one. Azula clearly seemed confused at her brother's unexpected gesture. "Azula", he softly started, "I'm sorry."

"About what?", the confused girl asked.

"About everything", Zuko continued, while he awkwardly swallowed some saliva, "I took away everything you ever wanted. You have cared for me more than I ever cared for you. I am the monster, not you."

"You don't mean that", Azula sceptically replied, "You were all too eager to become Fire Lord in stead of me."

"I didn't become Fire Lord because I wanted to or because I wanted to take away your dreams. The world needed peace, and it wouldn't get it with you as Fire Lord. Come on Azula, would I be kneeling if I didn't mean it?" Tears rolled out of Zuko's good eye. "Please Azula, hear me out", he said after a short pause.

Azula couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could he do this to her? How could he make her feel bad for hating him? It wasn't fair. After all he had done to her, all he had taken from her, now this. She didn't reply, but couldn't help to start crying again. Upon seeing his little sister cry Zuko stood up to comfort her, or at least he tried. "Don't touch me!", Azula cried as she stopped his gesture, "just tell me what you have to say."

Zuko walked towards the plank or bed or whatever it was supposed to be and sat down. He motioned Azula to do the same. She reluctantly did so. "Have you thought about my question last time?" Azula looked at her brother confused. "When was the last time you were truly happy?", Zuko cleared up the confusion.

Azula was silent for a while. Zuko was right, it had been a long time since she was truly happy. Maybe she didn't even remember what happiness was like. Did it feel good? Did she enjoy it? What was it? It took a few moments before she muttered: "Ember Island."

"What exactly do you mean? Burning down that Chan brat's house. I guess that was kind of fun."

"No", Azula weakly interrupted, "though I guess I hadn't felt much happier than then in a long time, but I wasn't truly happy, the war was still on my mind."

"What was it then?" Zuko didn't want to force his sister, but he felt she was letting go of her armour. Now was probably the best time to gain her trust.

"Us playing hide and seek at the beach house", she replied, "six or seven years ago, when we were truly free. The only thing we had to worry about was finding one another and not being found ourselves." A few tears rolled down her cheeks, as she remembered the good old days. She immediately whipped the tears away, however, not willing to be perceived as weak.

Zuko gasped in shock. Azula hadn't been happy for half of her life. Even more surprising was the fact that her happiest memory included him. It made him feel all the more guilty. He wanted to hug his sister but he knew she probably didn't want him to, even though a hug probably was what she needed. "I'll get you happy again, Azula", he whispered, "And I won't rest until I've succeeded."

For a moment the girl seemed genuinely touched, though she soon laughed it away. "Hah! And how will you do that?"

Zuko took a deep breath. "I'll do my best, but I know I won't be able to succeed on my own. But I know someone who can." Zuko paused. "You might not be too fond of the idea though."

Azula stared at her brother. "Who is it?", she hissed, "Tell me."

"Our mother", Zuko reluctantly replied. Azula immediately screamed and blasted blue flames out of her palms as the person who, in her opinion, had brought this to her was mentioned. There was no way she would see that woman, not now, not ever for that matter. "Azula, calm down!", the Fire Lord tried to calm down his sister, "You'll choke us and if not, you'll fry us." It seemed to work. The firebending and screaming stopped. The look on his sister's face was still agitated however and her breath was heavy. "I know your relationship with our mother wasn't exactly optimal", Zuko euphemistically continued, "but she did love you and I believe a reconciliation with her is what you need to be happy again."

Azula refused to believe her brother's words. "She never loved me", she said angrily, "she thought I was a monster. She has always been your mother, not mine."

"She did love you, Azula!", Zuko protested, "She probably still does. … But I know I'm in no position to persuade you. Mum's the only one who can and that's why you have to see her."

"No! She'll just laugh at me or pity me when she sees me here. I don't need pity, certainly not hers!"

"She won't!", Zuko replied, "And this won't be the place you'll see her."

Azula looked up confused. What was that supposed to mean? Was she being transferred? But whereto? The Boiling Rock? That didn't make sense. Zuko did seem genuine, why would he want to move her further away? Would there be another facility? A facility built especially for her, just like this cell, but then an entire building. She had to know. "What do you mean?", she eventually asked.

"I'm offering you a chance to earn a pardon", her brother replied.

"What?" This couldn't be true. It had to be a hallucination, another one of these bloody hallucinations. She despised them. Why couldn't these things stay away in stead of telling her all these lies, giving her false hope. This miserable prison cell would be her home for the rest of her sorry life and her brother's visits would probably be her only source of consolation.

"Azula?" The young Fire Lord tried to regain his sister's attention as she stared into nothingness. She didn't react. It was as if her mind had left this world. "Azula!", he called slightly louder this time. It seemed to work. The girl snapped back into reality. "Don't you want to hear what I have to say?"

"About what?", the puzzled Fire Nation princess asked.

"About your pardon of course."

That pardon again. This hallucination was persistent. Or could it really be true? Was Zuzu willing to offer her a pardon after all they had been through together? She was probably the only person who could take his throne away. He wouldn't risk something like that. It didn't make sense. But then again, what could she lose by hearing him out. "Tell me", she said quietly.

"I want to send you on a quest", Zuko explained, "I want you to find mum, Azula. You can stay with her as long as you need and bring her home afterwards."

"You're using me for your own gain", Azula angrily replied, "You're no better than father. At least he tried to make it look as if I had something to gain."

The Fire Lord had expected such a reply. He couldn't blame the former princess for it, as it really did look like it. "I admit that I really want to see mum again, but you're the person who needs to see her. It might not look like it, but it's for your own good. You need her help, Azula!" Azula wanted to interrupt, but she didn't get the chance. "If you can bring me our mother and she manages to persuade me of your mental progress, you're free to go. No more prison cells. You can live wherever you want. Even your old room in the palace is still available, if you like."

While Zuko's proposal sounded interesting, there had to be a snake in the grass. There was no way Ursa would defend Azula, or at least so she thought. He had to be using her, once she had brought their mother back, Zuko would simply throw her back in this miserable cage. She wouldn't let herself be used again, she had enough of it. And even if this wasn't all some trick to take advantage of her condition, what would happen if their mother had died during her exile? Surely a corpse can't stick 

out her neck for someone. There were too many loose ends to this plan, to few assurances. "If you want to see her so badly, why won't you look for her yourself, Zuzu?", she eventually asked.

Zuzu? Azula was calling him Zuzu again. Was this a good thing? Was she already regaining mental stability or was this just a temporary recovery? Either way, it couldn't be a bad thing, could it? Well, apart from the fact that he wasn't really fond of the nickname. "I need to take a diplomatic journey to the Earth Kingdom in a couple of days. Help rebuild burnt down villages, repay stolen ostrich horses, renew relationships with a village I once saved, but wasn't too thankful about my methods and maybe visit uncle Iroh. That kind of junk. If I happen to be near mum's home, I might pay her a visit too, considering that you and mum are still at the place at the time."

"What if she's dead, Zuko?"

"According to my sources, she's still alive. We've located the area where she resides. The only thing missing at the moment is an exact address. If anything unexpected happens, you shouldn't hesitate to send me a hawk." Azula was silent. The decision was a hard one. She didn't want to be used again, her father had used her plenty of times before and look where it got her. On the other hand it would give her a chance to regain her a freedom. But then again, how high were these odds. "You don't have to decide right now", Zuko broke the silence as he stood up, "though I could give you an extra incentive."

"Like what?", the girl questioned.

"Well this isn't really an ideal spot to think about such a decision, is it? How about spending the rest of the day at the palace. You'll be patched up, you'll have a decent meal for once and you'll see the light of the sun again. At the end of the day you can decide whether you want to come back here or you will accept my offer. Is that OK with you?"

"How free will I be?"

"You won't really be free on the palace trip. You could consider it a luxury prison, but I guess it's better than this. You are free on your quest, if you decide to accept it, however under strict conditions. Just hold me if you want to come with me."

Azula was reluctant. She didn't feel like holding her big brother, not after all he had taken from her. Not even now that he was offering something in return. Let's face it what he offered was nothing compared to what he had taken. He didn't deserve to be held by her. "If this is some kind of weak trick to make up for our lost childhood, you're too late, Zuzu."

"I know that, Azula, but this is the only way to make sure that we're both earthbended out of this cell. Toph won't think twice to leave you here, so we have to make sure that she can't divide us until we're out." The fallen princess still wasn't fully persuaded, but eventually she slowly approached her brother and awkwardly swung her arms around him. Zuko did the same. They hadn't hugged since they were little kids and a faint feeling of happiness filled his veigns, as these memories came back to him. He wasn't sure if the same counted for Azula, but he noticed that her grip tightened. Her head was dug into his shoulder. Perhaps a hug was what she needed after all. Zuko loosened one of his arms and hit the still warm bars, hoping that Toph would get the signal. Nothing happened. Didn't she get it or didn't she want to free Azula. They had discussed it on their way to prison and even though she was against it, the Fire Lord thought they had come to an agreement. He hit the bars again, twice this time. "Come on, Toph!", he whispered. The ground beneath them immediately started to move and before they knew it, the royal siblings were standing in front of the young earthbending master. The temperature was quite a deal lower in this area and the two firebenders immediately loosened their grip as they noticed they had moved.

Toph cuffed the siblings to each other as they let each other go. "I still think this is a bad idea", she said disapprovingly.

"Why?", Zuko asked as he picked up his robes and armour, "Do you think I can't handle my little sister?" He simply carried the extra garment on his free arm.

"Honestly?", Toph sarcastically replied.

"Never mind", the defeated Zuko gave in. Toph's grin spoke volumes as the threesome headed for the prison tower's exit.

Two guards immediately blocked the way out as they noticed the presence of the former princess among the exiting youngsters. "I'm sorry, your lordship", one of the guards addressed the Fire Lord, "But we have direct orders to make sure this particular prisoner doesn't get out. We can't let her go, not even for transfer."

Zuko sighed. "And who gave these orders exactly?", he asked with clear annoyance in his voice.

"Err … the Fire Lo … you, sir", the guards replied without moving. Zuko glared at them menacingly, but it took a while before the overenthusiastic guards finally got the message. "Our apologies, milord", they simultaneously said as they stepped aside. The Fire Lord just nodded in reply. Not really the brightest lights, but at least these men took their job seriously.

Along with their prisoner, the Fire Lord and his young bodyguard left the building and headed back for the palace. "Seriously", Toph suddenly said to the sweaty siblings in a quite annoyed voice, "Haven't you two ever heard of taking a shower after a sauna?"


	4. Chapter 4 Azula's Holiday

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**Thanks to everyone for the reviews, they really motivate me. Here's chapter 4. I feared it might be too much of a filler, but I think I managed to put in some stuff to explain Azula's psyche. Judge for yourself, enjoy**

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Chapter 4 Azula's Holiday

The sun shone bright in the clear sky. It had been a while since Azula had seen and felt its rays. She wasn't sure for how long. Her days in the prison gem were so long that they seemed like years. Ironically the mighty celestial body that had once juiced her power, now did nothing but annoy her. Her brother had noticed the nuisance the bright light of the sun brought her. He moved his robes and armour to his shoulder and used his now free hand to create some shade on his sister's golden eyes. It wasn't really a comfortable way to walk, nor did it help that much, but Zuko thought that all bits might help. Azula didn't share that opinion however. She was a princess and one of the most powerful benders alive, she didn't need any help. Certainly not over trivialities like too bright sunlight. She motioned her brother to remove his hand and he seemed to comply. She had other worries though. How long would they keep on walking? Surely Zuko wasn't planning on doing the entire trip on foot, was he? "Are we going to walk all the way home?", Azula asked in a less than pleased voice.

Zuko smiled. "I find it easier to think while walking. That way I can consider what I want to tell you during my visit." Azula's face grew more annoyed. He couldn't possibly be serious about this, could he? What kind of royalty simply walks home? "But don't worry", Zuko continued, "Once we reach paved roads, the rest of the journey will be by chariot. I doubt it's a good idea to just let you walk uncovered through the streets of the capital." Azula wasn't too sure what to think of that last comment, but at least they wouldn't walk the entire way home.

Zuko handed his obsolete garments to a valet, as they reached the waiting carriage. Once the threesome was inside, the rest of the trip went pretty smooth. Only fifteen minutes had passed when the royal chariot entered the palatial domain and pulled over at the entrance to the residential quarters. Its passengers entered the building and headed towards the bathroom Azula had always used in the past. "Could you uncuff me, Toph? I need to summon the servants." The blind earthbender obeyed, immobilizing the former princess's feet to the floor.

It didn't take the maids long to group at the princess's bathroom. "What's your bidding, milord?", Lin asked.

"Take care of her, will you", the Fire Lord replied while pointing at his sister.

"Bu-but, your lordship?", the shocked servant protested upon seeing the former princess.

"Lin, I like you, you're a good worker, so don't force me into doing something I will later regret. … Don't worry, Toph and I will keep an eye on her."

"Very well, sir", the young maid reluctantly gave in, "What do you want us to do?"

"Bathe her, dress her hair into something decent, pedicure, manicure, the usual things … Don't forget the manicure though, it's very important." The servant girl chuckled. "What's so funny, Lin?", a slightly annoyed Zuko asked.

"Err … nothing, sir", Lin responded having a hard time remaining serious, "It's just that I can see why the manicure is so important to you."

"I see", the Fire Lord said as he gently rubbed the three fine lines of curdled blood under his scar, "Clip them short, will you. … You can start without me, I need to wash of some sweat first. I won't be long."

As the Fire Lord left the scene, Lin still felt unsure. This was Azula after all and Zuko might be the only one in the palace who could keep her in line. Would it be a good idea to start without him? Shouldn't they just wait until he came back? He did say he wouldn't be long. It wouldn't hurt to wait for him, would it? But then again: the Fire Lord had given orders to start without him, and even though Zuko was a far more considerate Fire Lord than Ozai ever was, he might not be too pleased that his orders were ignored. Was there really anything to worry about? If the Fire Lord trusted the situation, everything would be OK, wouldn't it? After all, the blind earthbender girl was present and despite her appearances she was an extremely skilled bender. She would surely be able to control the situation if anything happened. Of course she would, there was nothing to be afraid of. Reassured she opened the door and entered the bathroom, followed by the other maids, Toph and Azula, even though the latter was rather bended in. The fire under the bathing pool was lit and the pool itself was filled with hot spring water. A screen was supplied to avoid embarrassing situations in case the Fire Lord entered the room. "Miss Toph, could you release her for now, please?", Lin asked, "otherwise we won't be able to do our job."

Toph complied with the request. This was the moment Azula had been waiting for. She could easily escape now, if only that blind brat weren't there. She could easily foresee her movements. It would be impossible to even leave the room. But she had to escape, if she ever wanted to be free again. No wait, this wasn't like her, she didn't act spontaneously, she calculated, she foresaw, she acted when the circumstances were right. No, she had to act now, it was her only chance. What would freedom be worth if it were nothing but life in a gutter? That was below her class, even prison would be better. No, it wouldn't, freedom is better than being locked up like an animal, she had to act now. But wouldn't her attempt jeopardize her chances of ever earning a pardon. Who cares? She had to see her mother to earn it, there was no way she would see that woman. Was that a fact? Maybe she wanted to see her mother again, maybe she wanted to reconcile. Yet another voice. Where did they come from? How many of these were there? Why didn't they shut up? _Escape Azula! — No! Now is not the time. — You'll have to, if you ever want to be free again. — There's another way, accept Zuko's offer! — Don't forget what your mother did to you. Do you really want to see her again. — You want to see her, Azula, you need to see her. — There's no way she will help you, it's a straight ticket back to jail. Escape! It's your only chance. — It's bound to go wrong! — Think about it! Do you really trust Zuko?_ This was getting too much for her fragile mind to handle. She grabbed her head and shook it to get rid of them. "Shut up!", she yelled, "Just shut up!"

The servant girls immediately stopped what they were doing. Their confusion could easily be read from their faces as they looked at the Fire Lord's sister. It was Lin who eventually broke the silence. "But milady", she said, "We didn't say anything." Azula didn't react. She remained static, almost as if sedated. The voices had gone away, leaving her with nothing but a semi-awareness of her surroundings. Upon seeing that the girl wouldn't react, the maids continued what they were doing. They undressed her and gently assisted her into the water, making sure her head wouldn't go under.

A knocking on the door could be heard. As no one objected, the Fire Lord entered the room. His hair was wet and not put up. He might not even know how to do that himself, or perhaps he just preferred to wear it loose. Apart from Toph and the occasional maid appearing and disappearing behind a screen, that hid the bathing area, no one could be seen in the room. It didn't require a lot of deductive skills to find out his sister was probably being bathed. He considered it wise not to disturb these actions and just went over to the blind earthbender. "Anything interesting happened, while I was gone?"

"Not really", Toph yawned in reply, "though she did scream to shut up … while no one was actually talking. Her heartbeat had been going up quite drastically before that event."

"I guess she must have been hallucinating again", Zuko said, "or hearing voices."

"I guess", Toph sighed, "She's been pretty calm ever since."

"Well, a hot bath has a tendency to do that." Zuko was relieved. He had expected his sister to make more of a fuss, but she seemed to cooperate. Then again her so-called holiday had only just started, there still was plenty of time for her to do something. He hoped she wouldn't though. He hoped her mind was clear and yet conflicted enough for her not to consider any escape plans or other malefactions. There was no way he could help her if she did, and he really wanted to help her. It was his duty to help her. He owed her that much. She might have been born with all the luck, but he managed to take it all away from her. The least he could do was try to give some of it back.

It took a while before the sound of Azula getting up in her bathtub could be heard. The hot bath had been relaxing and pretty much all of the prison dust had been washed off. The maids dried her and covered her in the silk bathrobe she used to wear. Zuko was slightly shocked upon the sight of his sister appearing from behind the screen. Only now did he see how much she had really paled. Her appearance was almost chalk-white and she only had been in jail for a couple of days or weeks at most. The servant girls guided her to the hairdresser's chair in front of the mirror. Or rather what used to be a mirror. Nobody had taken the trouble of replacing it after Azula had smashed it, leaving only about half of the looking glass intact. It wasn't as if anybody would be using this room anytime soon. Or at least, so they thought. Little did they know at that time. As the former Fire Nation princess sat down, her wrists and ankles were earthbended to the chair. Her hair was washed and cut. Her characteristic bangs were removed. There was no point in keeping them as she had already done the job partly herself. Her feet were massaged, horny skin removed and toenails filed. Her fingernails … Wait, what were they doing to her fingernails? They were being clipped, and pretty short too. "What are you doing?", she protested, "I don't want my nails to be that short."

"I'm sorry, milady", the maid apologized, "but those are Fire Lord Zuko's orders, nothing I can do about it."

"Why!?", she demanded her brother to explain these actions.

Zuko walked towards her. Without raising his voice he stated: "For protection. You're as dangerous with those nails as you are with firebending. However, firebending, I can take, I'm not too sure about nailbending though. Surely you prefer clipped nails over spending all of your time in jail." Azula just growled in reply. They never said her anything about clipping her nails, but what good would moaning about it do. It was too late to save them anyway. The eventual results of her treatment weren't half-bad though. Her hair hung loose, even though one lock on top of her head was given a hair-slide. It was quite similar to the haircut she had worn at the Ember Island party. In fact it was pretty much identical, except that her bangs were gone.

Azula was escorted to her former bedroom. She was given the choice what to wear. Her wardrobe was still intact, thank goodness. She browsed it attentively. _My royal gown? … No, reminds me too much of what I could have been. How about this? Goes with the haircut._ Her eyes fell on the red party dress. Hiding behind her bed curtain, she put it on. She liked the dress, it was a party dress, it symbolized freedom and the absence of responsibilities, it was perfect, besides she always looked good in it. Though, much to her own surprise, her brother and the maids' expressions seemed to suggest otherwise as she showed herself. "What?", she asked in awe.

It wasn't just her skin colour that had changed. She had also lost considerable weight and her newly gained meagreness didn't fit the dress at all. Nobody seemed to have the guts to tell her however. Toph probably would have if she could see it, but why would anybody trust a blind girl on the subject of appearance. It was Zuko who eventually replied, doing his best to put it as light-heartedly as he could. "Azula, most girls would worry their bellies would be sticking out in such a dress. In your case, I should worry about it sticking in, plus it gives a pretty clear view on your ribs."

"Burn this thing then!", she angrily exclaimed as she removed the dress and threw it on her bed. Zuko couldn't help but notice the fact that she wasn't really being herself. In fact she started reminding him more of himself in his less happy days. Azula continued browsing the closet for clothes. _How about my uniform? … No. This? No. No. Definitely not. No._ Her eye eventually fell on a green kimono. It had been a while since she last wore it. But no, she couldn't wear it, it wouldn't really be chauvinistic, would it? But then again it was the Fire Nation who brought this upon her. They didn't deserve patriotism. That was settled then, Ba Sing Se kimono it was. Nobody seemed to bother it as she appeared.

"I guess that's settled then", Zuko said, though with a slightly questioning intonation, "Well, time for dinner."

The food in front of her looked way more appetizing than anything she had in prison. Yet she didn't seem to be too keen on touching it. _It's poisoned, don't eat it — Why would Zuko kill you now? He's had plenty of other opportunities. — That's how he works, he gains your trust and then finishes you in a way that can't be traced back to him. — He's your brother he loves you. — He needs you. — He uses you. — He cares for you. — He wants you gone. You're too much of a risk for the throne. — He would never do that to you. — He'll put you out of your misery. — He couldn't hurt a fly. He's too weak._ "Go away!", Azula yelled, "Leave me alone!"

"Is something wrong, Azula?", a concerned Zuko asked.

The Fire Lord's sister looked up. The voices had gone away. "Actually, there is!", she said with the menacing voice he had often heard before, "Surely you don't expect me to eat this poison, do you? How stupid do you think I am?"

There was the Azula he knew. It was odd. Her mood seemed to change as often as leafs fell from a tree in autumn. "Why would I want to poison you? Surely you ate in prison."

"Well in prison I didn't really care whether I lived or died and I didn't eat that much anyway."

"But Azula, you have to eat, you've seen how much weight you have lost."

"Eat half of it, and I might consider eating it."

"Fine." Zuko started eating out of Azula's plate. It seemed to work as her expression loosened up.

"Hey, leave some for me, will you", she suddenly exclaimed, "You said yourself I needed to gain a few pounds." The confused Fire Lord shove the plate back in front of his sister. He definitely hadn't eaten half of it, but Azula didn't seem to bother. "So where's Mai?", she asked.

"Well", Zuko replied, "When I told her we had a guest for dinner, she suddenly wasn't hungry anymore."

"Hah, gloomy girl flipped", Toph suddenly interrupted, "Who'd have thought that would ever happen."

"Good", Azula apathetically replied, "I don't want to see her again any time soon."

"Well, talking about persons you don't wish to see again", Zuko reluctantly changed subjects, "After dinner, we'll be heading for the carriage again. Have you thought about my offer?"

Azula sighed. The decision was a hard one. Going back to prison or seeing her mother again. The very person that had caused her unhappiness. She didn't want to see her again, but she didn't want to go back to her cell either. There was nothing for her there, but was there with her mother? Zuko seemed to think so, but somehow she doubted it. The calculations seemed to favour it though: a small chance versus no chance at all. Azula eventually managed to produce a sound. "I … I'll do it."


	5. Chapter 5 Boarding

**Notes: Well the next chapter is finally here. Training has started again so I have less time to write. It turned out to be a lot longer than I expected when starting it. As there are a lot of stories and people reading multiple stories at the same time might get confused, I will give a short summary of the previous chapters: Zuko visits his sister in jail and is sorry to know that she is not doing good. With Katara's help he deduces that their mother is probably the only one who can help her. The Fire Lord is willing to offer Azula a pardon if she accepts to go on a quest to find their mother, persuading her with a day at the palace. When the time has come for Azula to choose, she accepts his offer. Enjoy**

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Chapter 5 Boarding

A crate slowly disappeared in the royal flagship's hold as the sun started setting. "Make sure you don't forget this one", the now reinstated admiral Jeong-Jeong yelled while pointing at a small crate, hidden in a corner, "Unless you want to be stuck in the middle of the ocean." He sounded confident, but the appearances couldn't be further from the truth than they were now. He wasn't looking forward to this mission at all. In fact the thought even occurred to him to desert once again, but he couldn't. When he deserted under Fire Lord Ozai, he did so because his conscience couldn't handle the cruelties that his nation brought upon this world. This case was completely different, his conscience didn't have a problem with it at all. How could it? It was a mere act of kindness. His common sense on the other hand was fully against it. Pretty much everything about this plan was just plain wrong. He had managed to organize it pretty well, keeping everything in mind he thought could go wrong, but it wasn't reassuring. He wondered why he had even accepted this task in the first place, but there was no way back now. He pondered nervously as he remembered the conversation he'd had with the Fire Lord.

"_Admiral Jeong-Jeong", the young Fire Lord had said, "I'd like you to organize a special mission."_

_Jeong-Jeong himself had just reacted emotionlessly. "If I may be so bold, your lordship", he asked, "What is this mission about?"_

"_I want you to take my sister to our mother." Zuko had said this coldly, almost as if it were nothing, the most normal thing in the world. But he knew very well it wasn't. Jeong-Jeong could easily see in the young man's eyes that he himself wasn't sure of this either even though he did his very best to hide it._

_The old admiral had not tried to hide his shock however. The idea was crazy, a young boy's foolishness and he had to try to get it out of his head. "Milord", Jeong-Jeong had reluctantly started, "as your royal advisor, I …"_

"_Admiral", Zuko had interrupted him, "I would never ask you this, if there were an other way. But the truth is, there isn't. This is the only way to help Azula. Please, Jeong-Jeong, she's my little sister. I've never been there for her in the past, so please offer me this chance to help her now." The Fire Lord's voice was far from cold at that moment. It was filled with emotions, in fact Jeong-Jeong had noticed he was doing his very best not to start crying._

"_I understand the love for your sister, your lordship, but the truth is you have an entire country to rule, you have diplomatic relationships to sustain. You can't prioritise the well-being of one Fire Nation citizen. Being Fire Lord is a heartless job in a way, but that's just how it is." It hadn't been easy for the former deserter to say this. Fire Lord Zuko had the best intentions and he only wanted to help, but it couldn't work, nor would the Fire Nation ever accept it._

_Zuko's expression had saddened upon this last comment. He wouldn't give up though, he couldn't. "This is a young girl, we're talking about, Jeong-Jeong. She might not act like it, but she is. She would have had her entire life ahead of her, but instead she lost her mind. I know people in the streets say she deserved it, but she doesn't. She could have been happy if our father hadn't used her, I'd even say abused her, and turned her into a tool, a weapon for his own personal gain. Nobody deserves to go through this, certainly not a child, not even Azula. You said I couldn't prioritise the well-being of an individual Fire Nation citizen. I disagree. If there's one group of people who deserve to be prioritised, it's children needing help, and whether the country likes it or not, Azula falls into that category."_

_Jeong-Jeong had gasped as the Fire Lord's words got through to him. "You are very wise for your age, sir. However the risks of such a mission are considerable, if only you would have let the Avatar take away her bending like he did with your father's."_

"_Her firebending is the last thing she has left. It pretty much defines her. I couldn't just take it away. Avatar Aang understood and supported my decision. We managed to make a prison cell that could contain her. However as much as it may please the people, it doesn't help her. Prison cells aren't fit for people with mental problems. We should actively try to help them, don't you think?" Jeong-Jeong could only agree. "That's why I came to you admiral Jeong-Jeong. You are a wise and strong master. I know you'll do the right thing. And you're the only one I know of who could keep Azula in line, except for uncle Iroh, but he's in Ba Sing Se at this moment. I don't want her to be transported as a prisoner, I want her to be as free as reasonably possible. I'm sure you can come up with the organization and conditions, after all the Order of the White Lotus is very resourceful, you're probably even the only ones who can locate my mother."_

_Despite his approval of Zuko's wishes, Jeong-Jeong had objected. "I understand that you would want her to be as free as reasonably possible, and I agree it would be in her best interest. But, whether her mind is lost or not, your sister is still a very skilled firebender. I think I can handle the flames, but her lighting is completely different story."_

_This objection, however, didn't seem to have troubled the Fire Lord at all. In fact a faint smile had even appeared on his face. "I wouldn't worry too much about the lightning, Jeong-Jeong. If she accepts this mission, that would mean that her mind is conflicted enough to even consider to see her mother again. There's no way she would have, when she was still perfectly healthy. If she would try to generate lightning, I'd guess she would only regret it afterwards. There's no way she would succeed. If she turns this mission down, she won't be going with you and you'll just have to bring my mother back."_

It was at that moment that Jeong-Jeong had agreed, though a part of him now wished he hadn't. He had managed to organize the trip extremely well, despite the short notice. The princess, or rather former princess, would be transported via the flagship. Apart from several imperial firebenders, the ship would be manned with several White Lotus members, all of them wise and capable masters. The flagship would be convoyed by all the at the time available navy vessels. There would be no physical contact between the flagship and the vessels during the trip. All communication would be done via messenger hawk. A report, written en sealed by Jeong-Jeong personally, would be sent to the Fire Lord every 24 hours. Upon arrival at the Earth Kingdom, several more local White Lotus members would escort and assist them. Jeong-Jeong had also written Azula's conditions for liberty. Violations would be punished by immediate incarceration and return to the Fire Nation, or worse if necessary. Even though the safety regulations were extreme, they were definitely justified and possibly not even enough. All crates had been loaded, as the royal carriage appeared at the docks. Jeong-Jeong caught himself hoping Azula had declined the Fire Lords offer and wouldn't be on board of the vehicle. Despite his conscience' protests, he found himself unable to banish these thoughts from his mind. The chariot pulled over in front of him. Jeong-Jeong kept a constant eye on it as its passengers came out. The first one to exit was the blind earthbender girl, he believed her name was Toph. Next was the Fire Lord himself. The third person didn't ring a bell. It was a pale, long-haired girl, wearing Earth Kingdom clothes. Who was she? And wasn't Azula coming? Jeong-Jeong looked into the carriage, it was empty. Azula probably declined the Fire Lord's offer, but who was this Earth Kingdom girl and why had the Fire Lord taken her with him? She did seem vaguely familiar. She had golden eyes, those were quite rare in the Earth Kingdom. Maybe she was from the Fire Nation. He had seen that look before. It probably wouldn't be important, maybe she would just be standing in for Azula. But that didn't make sense, why would the Fire Lord bring a replacement for Azula? Wait … he recognized her now. She wasn't standing in for Azula, she was Azula. "Good evening, your lordship, princess, miss", the old admiral greeted the arrivals. Even though his hope that Azula wouldn't come, had instantly vanished, Jeong-Jeong felt relieved. He was relieved that his conscience wouldn't have to battle his common sense anymore, and relieved that all his work had not been in vain.

"Good evening, admiral", Zuko greeted him back, "I've brought you your passenger." Azula looked away, not even trying to hide the annoyance that was written on her face. Her reaction concerned Zuko, though it wasn't totally unexpected. "Is there a problem, Azula?", he asked her. He knew the answer of course, but this was something that wasn't negotiable. She could either be OK with it or go back to jail.

"Surely you don't expect me to travel with this traitor", the fallen princess hissed in response.

"And when exactly did admiral Jeong-Jeong betray you?", the Fire Lord asked her.

"He didn't just betray me", Azula hissed, "He betrayed the entire nation, he betrayed dad, he deserted!"

Zuko kept cool. "What he did", he replied, "was in the best interest of the world, including the Fire Nation. No one would have gained anything if we'd have destroyed the world. And I thought we had come to an agreement that dad has betrayed you."

Azula became hysterical upon the last remark. "No that's not true", she yelled hitting her brother's arm in the process, "Dad loves me, he always has!" Her hitting decreased, giving way for sobs and tears. "He really does", she whispered one last time.

"Dad never loved anyone, Azula", Zuko gently, but sternly, said as he wiped away her tears. Much to his own surprise, she didn't resist. "I doubt he even knows what the word means. He just used you for his own benefit. I know I should have been there for you, giving you the love you needed like every big brother should do. Maybe all this could have been avoided if I did. The sad truth however is that I didn't." He held his sister's cheek and looked her straight in the eyes, doing his very best to smile. Azula still didn't show any signs of resistance or hostility. "I'm not asking you to forgive me, Azula", he continued, "The only thing I'm asking you is to take this opportunity I'm offering you to get better." Toph yawned, clearly bored. She wondered why Zuko had even asked her to come.

The fallen princess nodded. She seemed to understand. The expression on her face changed soon afterwards. All of a sudden the Fire Lord was face to face with the stern look he had often seen when his sister was still completely in control of herself. With a swift, but solemn arm movement she removed her brother's hand from her face. "I'll accept to go with this man, as he hasn't betrayed me personally", she stated in her well-known menacing tone, "I'll also accept that you are trying to help me. You seem genuine, and as I recall it you are a terrible liar, unless that skill has also increased drastically as has your firebending. … However, … don't ever even consider touching me again!" Toph chuckled, only to receive a menacing glare from Zuko. She didn't seem to bother it though, why should she? She knew that he looked at her, but that's all, for all she cared he could be smiling at her. Realizing his mistake Zuko pouted. Defeated he took his original position between his sister and the even more amused blind earthbender.

"I am glad we have come to an agreement", Jeong-Jeong said as he noticed the siblings had stopped their conversation, "Perhaps it would be best, if I enlighten you of the safety regulations and the conditions that regulate your freedom, before we board, princess." The princess nodded. Zuko had told her that her release would be under strict conditions, and frankly she didn't expect it to be any other way. In fact it might even have insulted her and her capabilities if he had released her unconditionally. "Fire Lord Zuko insisted that you wouldn't be transported as a prisoner or an exile. Hence you are allowed to walk freely on the ship, albeit under constant supervision. The ship itself will be heading towards the area in which your mother supposedly resides. You can however request intermediate stops, even in the Fire Nation, if you need anything that isn't available on the ship. Your requests will be taken in consideration and conceded if we deem them acceptable. On shore you will constantly be escorted by several experienced masters." He paused for a while to see the Fire Lord's sister's reaction.

Princess Azula yawned and rolled her eyes. This guy couldn't be serious, could he? What kind of conditions were these? She was one of the most powerful benders of the world. Was this how they would contain her? It actually did insult her. On the other hand, even if it was conditional she was supposed to be free. This wasn't free. It was more like a movable luxury prison, though for some reason this bothered her less than the weak conditions. "Surely these aren't all the conditions", she stated with a rejected tone, "I hope you have thought of more than just this."

"Don't worry, princess", the admiral reassured her, "Those were just the basic elements of your conditional freedom."

The comment had put part of Azula's mind at ease. However another part only grew more annoyed. She turned towards her brother and asked him angrily whether this was his idea of freedom under strict conditions, putting an obvious stress on the word freedom. Zuko at least partly understood her discontent, yet he didn't see a reason to make a fuss over it. Surely she wasn't completely free, but it was more than she had had lately. "Well", the Fire Lord replied his malcontent sister, "yes. You're pretty much free to do as you please, apart from the fact that there are some more rules you have to follow and you have a quest to complete. These men are just here to make sure that you do what is expected from you." Azula didn't agree at all and was just about to tell her brother exactly what she thought of it. She barely had the chance to open her mouth however, let alone produce sound. Zuko had interrupted her the moment he noticed her intentions. He didn't really yell at her, but he raised his voice in such a way that it left his sister perplexed and with no choice but to listen to him. "So you're not as free as the average citizen", he said, "Does it matter? It's a lot better than what you had in prison, and whether you like it or not, you're still officially considered a prisoner. And this entire quest is to help you regain your freedom. So quit being stubborn for once in your life, will you!"

Azula was speechless for a few moments. She stared at her brother as if she had just seen a ghost, which was probably exactly what she believed had happened. She never thought Zuko had it in him to lecture her and actually force her to listen to him. And the latter was exactly what she had done. Not a single word the Fire Lord had spoken went unnoticed. When she eventually regained her capability of speech, all her vocal cords could produce was a very timid "OK".

Azula wasn't the only one who was flabbergasted by Zuko's sudden speech. Especially Toph seemed to have entered some kind of motionless trance, but also Jeong-Jeong needed a while to remember what he was actually doing here. Once he realized again what he was talking about he scraped his throat and reluctantly got off the mark. "Well err …", he started, "maybe we should continue about your conditions, princess." Zuko nodded even though his sister was still a little absent. With regained confidence Jeong-Jeong continued. "The first condition probably won't surprise you, but I've learnt never to take anything for granted. We expect you not to get involved in any kind of criminal activity. In your case the most relevant example would be intentionally harming or hurting other people. The only debatable exception is self-defence." There was nothing in Azula's expression that seemed to indicate any objections. Why would she object? It was all quite self-evident. "Firebending", Jeong-Jeong continued, "should be reduced to a minimum. You can use it to light candles of course, but advanced firebending should not be used, unless necessary."

This condition was less to Azula's liking, but she guessed it would only make sense. Nevertheless she was not the person to just give in to it. "Can't I train?", she asked. The answer would probably be negative, but she could always try.

Jeong-Jeong slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry princess, our convoy could very well misinterpret the sign." Azula sighed. She realized it would be pointless to try to persuade him. Therefore she decided to cope with the inconvenience. "And for your own safety, princess", Jeong-Jeong continued, "I would suggest not to generate lightning, or rather try to generate lightning."

"And what's that supposed to mean?", Azula hissed angrily.

The young Fire Lord tried to calm her down. "Hush Azula", he whispered to her, "The progress you've made in the last couple of days and the fact that you were willing to accept this trip proves that you have already recovered a part of your lost mind. However it also proves that your mind is no longer as determined as it used to be. It is the price you had to pay. Lightning can only be generated if your mind is at peace, and yours is very conflicted at the moment."

"So you think I can't generate lightning anymore?", the still angry Fire Nation princess replied, "I'll show you!" She pointed towards a nearby Cliffside. "Enjoy the view now you still can." Anticipating on the outcome, Zuko positioned himself behind his sister. Azula charged like she had done so many times before. Both of her arms followed a semicircular path at the side of her body. Even though she didn't see any sparks, she could clearly feel the charge grow. She stretched out her arm and pointed her index and middle finger towards the Cliffside. It was at this moment that the first spark could be seen leaving her body. It wasn't a flash of lightning that followed from her arm however. The spark merely detonated an explosion that blew her backwards right into her brothers arms. "Get off me", she yelled, "It's been a while. I must have done something wrong. It'll work this time."

Azula took back her stance and prepared to fire an other bolt, only to be stopped by Zuko. "Spare yourself the trouble", he said softly, "The same thing will happen every time you try. What you need is peace of mind. Maybe our mother can give it to you and in that case you might regain your lightning. But right now it won't work." Azula gave in, albeit not happily. She knew he was right and it didn't improve her mood at all. Her brother had managed to take yet an other thing away from her. Hadn't he taken enough already: her throne, her luck, her mother, her friends, her freedom and now her lightning. Luckily she probably wouldn't need it anyway, but still, how could he?

Seeing that the conversation between the royal siblings was over, Jeong-Jeong took the liberty to continue. "Princess?", he tried to gain Azula's attention. The former Fire Lords daughter turned towards him. "I'll continue your conditions if you don't mind. … You will have your meals with us and eat what we eat. Don't worry, we have an excellent cook." Azula shrugged. "The last one, will probably be the least to your liking. We have tried to find better alternatives, but unfortunately weren't successful. … As I can't stay awake permanently, I have decided to go to bed at the same time you do. When you go to bed is entirely your decision, but at that time you will be locked into your cabin. It's not like you need to walk around the ship while you're asleep. When you wake up, just knock on the door and the guards will wake me and open the door for you." He was right. Azula didn't like this condition for one bit. She hated being locked up. Her facial expression made this all too clear, yet she refrained from protesting. She realized it would be pointless anyway. "This scroll gives you all the details on your conditions", Jeong-Jeong continued as he handed Azula a scroll, "Would you fail to come up to the conditions, we would have no choice but to lock you up and return you to the Fire Nation. Something your brother would certainly regret, as he has great faith in you."Azula looked at her brother, who faintly smiled. "All of the Fire Navy ships that will convoy us are manned with several Yu Yan archers. They can easily immobilize you, if you decide to give us a hard time. If necessary, the vessels are even allowed to sink this ship. I will brief your brother, our convoy and my contacts at our destination port daily with sealed messages. As long as we're off shore, that will be our only contact with the rest of the world." Jeong-Jeong paused briefly, giving the former princess a chance to ask questions. All seemed to be clear however, as silence filled the next couple of seconds. Azula's former disappointment had turned into satisfaction. This trip was well organized after all. It was definitely worthy of a dangerous prisoner such as herself. No questions came and Azula was invited to board the ship.

"Wait", Zuko stopped his sister. He handed Azula a sealed scroll. "I want you to hand this over to mom, with the seal untouched. It's pretty much an invitation for her to come with you, once she has helped you. As well as some personal stuff. If you don't think you can control your curiosity or if you think you might lose it, Jeong-Jeong can keep it during your journey, but I want you to give it to her." 

Azula took the scroll and handed it over to the old admiral. That way she wouldn't have to worry about it. The Fire Lord turned towards his young bodyguard. "Toph, if you'd like to go with them, I'm sure they'd appreciate your skills. It would probably be a lot more exciting than my diplomatic trip."

"Are you trying to ditch me?", Toph snapped sarcastically, "Let me tell you something, Sparks. There's no way, you're getting rid of me, before I get my fieldtrip. Are we clear?" Toph pointed her finger at the shocked Fire Lord as she spoke. It was merely a centimetre away from his nose.

"Crystal", a clearly impressed Zuko replied. He turned towards his sister. "I guess this is it, Azula, we won't see each other for a while, but when we meet again, I hope to see my old, happy sister again." He walked towards the fallen princess.

"Don't even think of touching me", Azula hissed, but Zuko disregarded it. He pulled his sister as close to him as possible and held her tightly. At first Azula struggled against it, but she soon found herself embracing her brother just as tightly for nearly a minute. She couldn't explain herself why. When the time came for them to separate, the fourteen year old girl headed for the royal flagship. Before boarding she looked back one last time. She saw her brother raise his hand and move his lips as if saying something like "bye, Azula". She nodded at him and disappeared on the big ship, ready to start the journey that would hopefully change her life.

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**Does anybody think I'm overacting Zuko in this chapter, though as far as I know overacting is pretty much Zuko's trademark. It doesn't really matter actually as we won't see him for the next couple of chapters, but I'd like to know. Oh and thanks to Jack the Riddler for adding this to his C2 :-)**

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	6. Chapter 6 Rough Night

**Finally, chapter 6 is up, hurray. Azula is now on board of the ship that will transport her on her quest to find her mother. No Ursa yet, though there are some childhood memories. I added a cameo (of a non-avatar character) by the way, a cookie for who can find it.**

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Chapter 6 Rough Night

A chilly breeze could be felt as Azula wandered on the deck towards the front of the ship. The ship had just passed the gates of Azulon, but that wasn't what interested the former Fire Nation princess. The sky was clear and there was a magnificent view on the stars. She hadn't seen the stars for a while and it surprised her how much she had missed such a banal and insignificant item. She just stared up at the twinkling constellations, something she hadn't done in a very long time.

"_What's your favourite con … constathingy, Zuko?", the excited six year old asked her brother. Both siblings had snuck out of the beach house at night, something they had often done before. All they did was ponder on the beach. They listened to the waves, watched the stars. They enjoyed themselves for every minute of it._

_Her eight year old brother lay on her right side. "Constellation, Azula", he corrected her, "Do you see that one?" He pointed towards a group of stars in the east, forming the lines that connected the stars with his finger. "That's the dragon."_

"_Whoa!", Azula exclaimed in amazement, "It's beautiful."_

"_It sure is", the older sibling replied, "The Fire Sages say that the strongest benders are born in the year of the dragon."_

"_Are you born in the year of the dragon, Zuko?", the curious little girl asked._

"_Unfortunately not", Zuko replied with a slight tone of regret in his voice, "I was born in the year of the polar leopard. They … err … we are said to be fighters who never give up. You were born in the year of the dragon, though."_

"_So I'm going to be a strong firebender?", a proud Azula asked._

"_I guess so."_

"_I'm sure you'll be pretty good too, Zuzu." The two siblings laughed. "Zuko?", Azula asked. Her older brother hummed in reply. "Why doesn't that star move like the others? Has it been banished?"_

"_That's a planet, Azula, they follow their own path."_

"_Ooh." Azula was impressed with Zuko's knowledge of the stars. She enjoyed it as much as Zuko enjoyed telling her about the things he learnt. They seemed to be the perfect siblings at that time._

_Azula yawned, clearly tired. "Maybe it's best that we head back for the house", Zuko said, "We don't want mom and dad finding us asleep on the beach, do we?"_

_The younger girl shook her head. Both of them stood up and walked back to the beach house. "What's the planet's name?", Azula asked half yawning, as the siblings crawled back into the mansion via the opened window of Zuko's room, the same one they had used to sneak out._

_Zuko smiled. "It's …"_

"Jin Xing", Azula whispered as she relived the memory. The same planet Zuko had first showed her, twinkled in front of her. It was odd. At the Fire Nation Academy for Girls she had been instructed by the best astronomers and astrologists. Her lessons were a lot more accurate than the things Zuko told her. And yet it was this first lesson on stars and planets, lectured by her own brother eight years ago at a quiet night on a deserted beach, that was most clear to her. Back then, during her happy days, when she and her brother still got along. Something that would be long forgotten a mere two years later, when competition had driven them apart to the point where they couldn't even stand each other's presence. But here she stood, remembering the very moment, pondering about these very words. She was born in the year of the dragon and there was no doubt about it that she was a powerful firebender. In fact most of the royal family members were born in dragon years. She knew her father was, and as uncle Iroh was twelve years older than her father she assumed he was too. The same counted for Lu Ten, who was twelve years older than her. As far as she could remember, all of these men were powerful benders, at least once in their life. Zuko, being a polar leopard, was the exception. Maybe that's what her father had meant by saying that he was just lucky to be born. Zuko had very well managed to find his own luck though. Like a real polar leopard he was a fighter, he never gave up, eventually his firebending skills even surpassed hers. He really never gave up, not even on her.

The sound of footsteps on the metal deck approached her. As they stopped, she heard an old cracking voice say: "May I join you, princess?" Azula just shrugged. "I thought you might find it interesting to know where we're going", Jeong-Jeong said as he unfolded a map of the world. The former princess just kept silent. She didn't really care where they were going. All she cared about was that she was out of prison and out of the reach of those awful guards. She was standing in the open, be it chilly, air. The wind was blowing her once again beautiful hair backwards. It was a blissful moment, and she would have preferred being left alone. But knowing her conditions, she knew she would never really be alone. On the other hand, there were more exciting things than spending days on a ship with nothing to do but to think. She couldn't even train. It might be handy to know how much time she would spend on this vessel. This was the reason she didn't motion the old admiral to stop. Jeong-Jeong pointed towards a small peninsula in the southwest of the Earth Kingdom. "Our destination is the Bandao peninsula", he said, "By tomorrow we will have navigated through the Fire Nation Archipelago and we will pretty much keep a south-eastern course from that moment on. We will pass Whale Tail Island, Kyoshi Island and the village of Gaoling. The Journey should take just over a week, two weeks at most." The Fire Lord's sister put out the flame she used, to help her see the map. She had seen and heard what the deserter told her, but that was about as far as her interaction went. Once he had finished, she turned back to staring into infinity. "Magnificent view, isn't it?", Jeong-Jeong said, trying to break the tension he was sensing. Only silence followed. "Did you miss this while you were in jail?" Azula sighed. She found the attempts the old man undertook rather pathetic. "Stupid question, I guess", Jeong-Jeong said as he noticed he wasn't getting through to her.

"I think I'll go to bed now, admiral", Azula said bluntly. She was getting tired of the man's feeble attempts and she couldn't deny that she actually was feeling kind of sleepy too.

"Of course, princess", Jeong-Jeong replied, "I'll take you to your room." The admiral felt relieved. He wanted to go to bed for a while now, but he couldn't as long as Azula was still walking around. He yawned as he took the fallen princess inside. She followed him as he took the stairs one floor down and opened the second door to his right in the following hallway. It was the biggest room on the ship. It was the room where the Fire Lord would normally reside, but now they had adjusted it to her needs or rather to their needs for her transportation. A heavy bolt could be seen on the outside of the metal door and two guards were constantly watching it. Jeong-Jeong motioned Azula to go in. "Your room, your highness", he said, "I hope it is to your liking." The girl entered the royal suite and nodded towards the admiral that he could leave her now. He nodded back and left the room. He closed the bolt and sighed relieved, relieved that everything had gone well so far and relieved that he was rid of the awkward one-way conversations with the princess. Slowly he headed towards his own sleeping quarters. He would need his rest.

Azula slowly walked towards the king size bed as she heard the bolt slip into its place. She was locked up once again. Surely it was quite luxurious compared to her previous sleeping-place and it would only be temporary, or would it really? She sat on the edge of the bed, ready to change clothes. However for some reason she was hesitant to undress. All she did was stare at the locked door for a few minutes. _So we're back in jail, aren't we?_, one of the voice in her head started the conversation. "Shut up", was all Azula answered. _Come on, you can't be that gullible_, the voice continued, _Has your brother's little theatre play turned you soft? — You know your brother loves you. — Oh come on, how long have you known him? Have you ever seen him act like that? It was nothing but a well rehearsed scene. — He can't lie a bit. Why would that have changed. — You know how weak your brother is. He's too weak to even lock you up. — Hah, it was him who locked you up in the first place. — He was sincere, you know he was. You're a people person. — I doubt your judgment has been really clear lately. Prison tends to do that to people. Look at your situation. Put two and two together and what do you get: it's a prisoner's transfer. — If only! You heard that traitor say that the convoy was capable of taking down this ship. That's exactly what they will do. It's the easiest way to get rid of you, while the others get off the ship. — Would the Fire Lord really order to destroy his own flagship. — Why not? He's rich enough to buy a new one._ The confusion on Azula's face slowly gave way to anger. She had been tricked. She could have known. There was no way that idiot brother of hers would offer her a pardon, no matter what he claimed. This was a transfer, or even worse, an execution. She knew that was what Zuko thought she deserved. He was a coward. Even with all the power he had, he didn't have the guts to tell her exactly what this trip was all about. Instead he thought out some elaborate plan to trick her and she was ashamed to admit that he succeeded. Or at least he had succeeded so far, but this was as far as he would get. Her brother would never best her. She would escape. It would take time for the entire crew to leave the ship and board the navy vessels, but she still had to act as soon as possible. Before entering the room she had noticed the bolt was made out of corundum. They hadn't taken the trouble to replace the door though. It was still made of steel and steel can be molten or deformed. All she needed was heat and as she still was a firebender, this wouldn't be too much of a problem for her. A growing blue orb appeared in her right hand, before it got powerfully projected into the metal door. A slight deformation could be noticed at the impact point. Her plan seemed to work. Satisfied, she fired several other orbs at the door.

The sudden sound of the impacting fire orbs startled the guardians standing on the opposite side of the door. In fact they had almost jumped into each other's arms. "What's happening?", the left guard asked.

"I don't know", his colleague answered, "But whatever it is, it can't be good. I'll get the admiral." The guard immediately ran towards Jeong-Jeong's sleeping quarters. As he arrived he started knocking on the door like a madman. "Admiral, admiral, please wake up!"

A clearly unsatisfied grunt could be heard at the other side of the door. "What!?", the deserter said grumpily as he opened the door.

"It's the princess, sir", the nervous guard replied. He paused a while to catch his breath. "She err … seems to be attacking the door."

Clearly annoyed Jeong-Jeong covered the left half of his face with his hand, while slowly moving it downward. "Five minutes!", he said, "she's been in her room for five bloody minutes and she's already making a fuss! Go get a pot of catnip tea and two cups, and bring it to her room. I'm going to have a word with our dear little princess." The guard ran off as soon as he got the order. Cursing inwardly Jeong-Jeong headed for the princess's room. Fire blasts and screams could easily be heard as he approached the room.

Azula was screaming in frustration as her rate of progress in busting down the metal door was a lot lower than she wanted it to be. "Get me out of here", she yelled, "Don't think that I don't know what your plan is! You'll just sink this ship once you've all gotten off. Well, it won't work, so release me now if you want to survive!" The former princess stopped both her blasts and her screams, noticing their lack of effect. They didn't fear her and fear was the only way of controlling people that she knew off. She was completely lost now, and it was all her idiot brother's fault. If the ship's company didn't fear her, they would never open the door, at least not if they were planning to kill her. Her blasts weren't reliable either. There had to be another way. At that moment it struck her. The solution was so obvious that she was ashamed that she hadn't thought of it earlier. She didn't need brute force, she needed finesse, a small but extremely hot flame that would cut right through the steel of the hinges or even the door itself. She stretched out her right index and middle finger and a flat blue flame emerged from it. She started pointing it towards the door, as the sudden sound of the opening bolt interrupted her. "What do you know", the Fire Lord's sister whispered in satisfaction, "the screaming did help after all."

"Princess Azula!", Jeong-Jeong shouted angrily as he entered the room, "What is the meaning of this behaviour?" Azula immediately lunged backwards onto her bed as the old admiral shouted at her. Shivering, she hid underneath the blankets in fear, much to Jeong-Jeong's surprise.

Unbeknownst to the deserter however, it wasn't him whom Azula thought she saw. To her it was as if he wasn't there. She didn't see him, nor did she hear what he said. What she saw was her father, standing right at the place where Jeong-Jeong was standing. He was angry with her and he clearly showed it. He didn't yell at her, he barely ever did, but he did raise his voice and his intonation and expression spoke volumes. "_I will not tolerate this kind of misbehaviour, Azula_", the former Fire Lord said severely.

Azula shook in fear. Jeong-Jeong even thought he heard her teeth chatter. How could he possibly scare Azula this much? The girl used fear to get whatever she wanted. Surely she had to be immune to it herself. And yet, here she was, petrified. Was he really that impressive? "N-no, please don't hurt me", Azula stuttered in a voice that sounded way more girlish than her usual voice, "I'll be good, perfect, just like you always wanted me to be. I promise!"

Jeong-Jeong was confused. Why did Azula think he wanted to hurt her? Surely he was angry when he came in, but still. And this was Azula, she was too proud to even believe that he could hurt her. With her father out of the way, she probably thought she was the greatest firebender alive. The fact that she was scared that he would hurt her didn't make sense at all. "I'm not going to hurt you, princess", the old admiral replied, "Your brother would probably execute me, if I did. Just calm down."

But once again the deserter's words had been unheard. "_Then again_", Azula heard her father's hallucination say, "_Why would I even waste a second of my valuable time on a miserable failure like you!_"

Azula's fear started fading away. However Ozai's words had struck like a thorn in her heart. Angrily she yelled back at him, hoping to persuade him that she wasn't a failure, that she was still the prodigy he once saw in her, that she was the daughter he always wanted. "I'm not a failure, daddy", she shouted at the hallucination, "I'm not Zuko!" Jeong-Jeong finally understood what was happening. She thought she saw her father, and apparently the image was talking to her. Realizing that the hallucinating princess probably wasn't aware of his presence he decided not to speak until she had calmed down.

"_Indeed you are not_", Ozai's hallucination replied stoically, "_Your brother Zuko has always been considered a failure, but eventually he managed to work himself up to the top. You have always been on the top, but when it mattered the most, you screwed up. You are the disgrace of the family, I'm ashamed to admit I considered you a prodigy once. You're nothing but a worthless waste of space._"

"You're wrong", Azula yelled, "I won the Agni Kai. If it weren't for that filthy water tribe peasant's interference, I would have been the Fire Lord. I would have been the greatest Fire Lord of all time. … What's your excuse? You lost to a mere twelve year old. You can't even bend anymore." Jeong-Jeong frowned as he heard Azula's words. Considering her current and previous state, he was all too happy that this didn't happen. Who knew what the world would have become, if Azula had ever become Fire Lord. He doubted that he'd consider her the greatest ever.

"_You never won the Agni Kai, Azula. An Agni Kai is a dual, a one on one battle. If you hadn't broken the rules, Zuko would have beaten you. In fact you were lucky the water tribe peasant was there to distract him. … All of this wouldn't have bothered me too much though, if it weren't for the next thing that happened? She beat you, while you had the benefit of the comet's power. Tell me in what way you are not a disgrace, I'd love to hear your thoughts._"

Azula was silent for a couple of seconds. She realized the hallucination of her father was right. But still, she believed he had no right calling her a disgrace, not with his defeat to the avatar and loss of his bending powers. If she was a disgrace, then what was he? "You were still defeated by a child", she hissed, "You can't even bend anymore." The hallucination didn't care. How could he? Hallucinations didn't have feelings, nor was he the real Ozai. All he did was laugh at her in reply. Disgusted by the sound Azula covered her ears, but it didn't help. The laughter continued, even after the image had disappeared, growing more maniacally and sadistically by the moment. Her father's voice grew more high-pitched and creepier, but she still recognized it as her father's voice. The sound was terrible. She wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't. It kept going and going. While still covering her ears, she shook her head wildly, without effect. Why wouldn't it go away? Why did it keep tormenting her? Hadn't she suffered enough already? The fallen princess dug her head into her pillow and started crying. Was she truly alone? Did no one care for her? This realization broke her so much, that she didn't even notice the laughter had finally stopped.

Seeing the princess had calmed down, Jeong-Jeong tried to talk to her. Realizing neither she nor he would gain anything, if he raised his voice, he kept his tone as gentle as he could at the time. "Is everything alright, princess?", the old admiral asked. Azula just kept sobbing. "Maybe it would be best for all of us if you tried to get some sleep, your highness."

Azula rose and wiped away her tears. "That's exactly what you want me to do, isn't it?", she hissed.

"I beg your pardon, princess?", the deserter asked, not completely understanding what she meant.

"This isn't some kind of quest", Azula said, "it's an execution. You're just waiting for me to fall asleep, so you can sink this ship."

In the mean time the guard that had fetched the admiral, had arrived in the room, carrying a tray with a tea pot and two cups. Jeong-Jeong motioned him to put it on the table and leave. "I can't tell what your brother would do to us, if we killed you, milady, nor do I wish to think of it", the deserter continued.

"He'd pay you obviously", Azula replied with dismay in her voice, "This was all his idea in the first place."

"Let me ask you something, princess", Jeong-Jeong said, "Why would we go through all this trouble and take such a great risk to execute you, while we could easily and safely have executed you back in the homeland. Besides, this expedition is quite costly and returning without the flagship would hardly suppress the costs, would it?" Azula didn't have an answer to that one. "The truth is, princess, that after the Agni Kai with your brother, your mind was left shattered. Your complete lack of trust has made you paranoid. And there is nothing we can do to mend that. You'll have to learn how to trust by yourself."

"Then, what is the point of this trip?", Azula interrupted.

"You'll have to learn it by yourself, but that doesn't mean no one can help you through the process. Fire Lord Zuko thinks the only person who can help you is your mother, and I tend to agree with him." Azula seemed to calm down. "Now", Jeong-Jeong continued as he poured some catnip tea in the two cups, "I'll have to ask you to drink this catnip tea. Its herbs will help you calm down and sleep quietly. I will drink a cup myself, in case you don't trust it."

"Take a sip from both cups", the former princess ordered. The old admiral obeyed, while Azula carefully observed him. Jeong-Jeong took a reasonable sip from both cups. The Fire Lord's younger sister couldn't see a difference in the size of both sips, nor did the admiral's reluctance, or rather lack thereof, and swallowing rate give anything away. Both cups looked identical. They both had a homogenous beige colour. There were no shades, bursts or broken edges that showed a difference between the two cups. The fluid within the cups couldn't be separated from each other either. She took a random cup, making sure Jeong-Jeong didn't see which one, and sipped from it carefully. Nothing dodgy struck her about the taste, hence she considered it safe to drink. The other cup, she gave to Jeong-Jeong, who thanked her as she handed it over. The old man started drinking, not even giving Azula a second look. This reassured the princess, who started drinking slowly herself, never moving her eyes away from the drinking admiral. If he would give as much as a glitch in the wrong direction, anything that might persuade her that they might be poisoning or drugging her, she would immediately stop drinking and try to puke it out again. But that moment didn't come. Jeong-Jeong had long finished his cup by the time Azula had emptied hers.

The scarred admiral yawned. "Perhaps it would be best, if you really did go to sleep now", he said, "breakfast will be readied at the dining room once you have awakened." He left the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Should we lock the door, sir?", one of the guards asked as he saw Jeong-Jeong leave.

"Not yet, it would only agitate her. You can leave it open until the end of your shift. She should be sleeping sound anyway and if she does try anything, one of the other firebending masters should be able to get her in line this time. Let's just hope the catnip tea will keep doing the trick, because I have no desire to go through all of this again. … Oh and can you tell the next shift to wake me up and unlock this door at dawn."

"Yes sir!", the guard saluted the admiral as he headed back to his own sleeping quarters, hoping that the rest of his night, and the entire trip for that matter, would be quiet.


	7. Chapter 7 Reunion

**Well finally :-p I'm sorry it took so long, I haven't got any excuses this time, I guess it's just the fact that this chapter is so astonishingly long. It starts off pretty slow, but I like it. I've tried to write a little on Azula's sensitive side, which was a challenge to say the least, as we have probably seen that side for about 2 seconds in the show. Ursa finally makes her real time appearance, yay. Writing her character gave me a bit of freedom, as we don't really know much about her, I hope I made her realistic. One last thing, I suck at first sentences, if anyone has a tip to write a good first sentence, I'd love to hear it.**

**Previously: Zuko is willing to offer Azula a pardon if she is willing to find her mother and let her help her. The ship has already left the fire nation. Will they arrive at their destination? Will Azula's memories haunt her?**

**edit: fixed some minor spelling errors**

* * *

Chapter 7 Reunion

The thick mist started lifting as the ship slowly moved through the salty waters. The sight of land erecting from the ocean could vaguely be observed by Jeong-Jeong's trained eye. They had reached their destiny at last. In about half an hour they would be docking at Bandao's harbour and they could start looking for the Fire Lord's mother. Jeong-Jeong let a sigh of relief escape. They actually made it, which, considering everything, was quite an achievement. The nights were usually quiet, except for the first night of course. The catnip tea that was served with dinner really had done its job quite well. The rest even seemed to do Azula good. She seemed to think more clearly and her episodes, or whatever they should be called, clearly decreased in number and drama. Her paranoia never left her though. She would always swap her tea and meals with a random person at the table, and demanded the old admiral to taste it beforehand. Jeong-Jeong had hoped it would eventually fade away, if she noticed that she wasn't being drugged, but the same ritual was performed during all meals. Lanzhao assured him that this was normal. One couldn't expect too much from a damaged mind like Azula's. Jeong-Jeong was truly happy that Lanzhao came along. The old White Lotus member had experience with fragile minds. He managed to get the former princess back to her senses on numerous occasions, the most impressive was the time she threatened to throw herself overboard. Jeong-Jeong still didn't understand her actions that day, she always made absolutely sure that she wasn't being killed and yet she had no problem whatsoever taking her own life on that day. Lanzhao came and managed to talk her out of it. Azula cried at that moment. She had often cried during the journey. It struck the deserter. The former Fire Lord's daughter always gave the impression to be cold and devoid of any kind of feelings, but the girl he was transporting was confused and sensitive, nothing like the old princess Azula. The Fire Lord had been right saying that she wasn't beyond help, but that still didn't mean it was going to be easy. The boat trip might have been over, but that was only the easy part of her journey. She still had to face her mother and accept her help. Considering their past, this task would be far from easy. The docks were clearly visible now. Sailors started running across the ship, getting ready to berth. Steadily the ship moved into its dock. Several sailors threw down ropes that were caught and securely attached by dockworkers on shore. The deck gave a clear view on the village of Bandao, the biggest and probably only place worthy of the title village on the peninsula. Several hamlets were scattered around it though. Their search hadn't come to an end just yet. A slight shock could be felt as the tightened ropes abruptly stopped any movement the ship was still making. Jeong-Jeong went below deck as the ship stopped.

Four elders had been awaiting the arrival of the royal flagship. Jeong-Jeong had contacted them as they lived in the neighbourhood. All four of them were powerful earthbenders, and all four of them were members of the Order of the White Lotus. They carefully watched as the metal gangway emerged from the ship, perhaps some childlike excitement went through their minds, but it was mostly concern that was being pumped through their veins and arteries. The mission they were given was very important, and certainly not without risk. They had heard about Azula's reputation and the messages of her eventual fate didn't really put their minds at ease. But Jeong-Jeong had managed to persuade them, much like Zuko persuaded him, that all she needed was a little help, or rather a lot of help. Nevertheless they needed some correspondence with Iroh in order to be reassured. Iroh was her uncle after all, he knew Azula, and even though he didn't share his nephew's optimism he agreed that with the necessary help Azula could be saved. This was enough to persuade the old masters. Since the war was over, they didn't have much more on their hands than playing Pai Sho anyway. As the gangway landed they watched as they saw six figures get out of the ship. They immediately recognized five of them as their colleagues. The sixth, walking at Jeong-Jeong's left side, was a young girl in Earth Kingdom outfit. They could only assume that she was the notorious princess Azula, the person they should get to her mother and keep out of trouble. "Welcome to Bandao", one of the earthbenders greeted their guests, "I trust you had a safe trip."

"Could have been worse", Jeong-Jeong replied as he set foot on the quay. The earthbenders sighed in relief. They knew how dangerous Azula could be, but it seemed she had been quite calm during the trip.

"I suppose we should talk business now?", the same earthbender continued. The deserter nodded. "There's a market in the village over there. Lady Ursa has …"

"Hah!", Azula bluntly cackled while looking away annoyed. _Lady Ursa_, she thought, _How dare they call her that? She's no lady, she's an outcast, a traitor!_

"Is there a problem, princess?", the interrupted earthbender asked the girl.

"I doubt it's important", Jeong-Jeong replied before Azula even had a chance to open her mouth, "Please continue." Azula was indignant at this comment. It was important. Traitors didn't deserve titles, her mother, no she wasn't her mother, that woman least of all.

"Well", the old earthbender hesitantly continued, "she's often been spotted shopping at that market. I suppose it's the best place to start looking for her." Jeong-Jeong agreed. It was their best lead and if she really did her shopping at this place, it meant she couldn't be living too far away. Guided by the earthbenders, the White Lotus members and their powerful guest or prisoner, or whatever they should call her, headed for the market place. Azula's eyes were on the roads for the entire trip. She noticed the exceptionally good shape they were in. There were no humps or pits in any of the roads, nor did she see a sign of construction sites. It was as if these roads could survive hundreds of years, unlike Fire Nation roads, which had to be repaved every five to ten years because of some kind of subsidence or a loose cobblestones. These roads weren't even paved, they were one big piece of rock. Maybe this peace was a good thing after all. The Fire Nation might be ahead of the rest of the world in a lot of fields, they still had a lot to learn when it came to road construction. But then again, the same goal could be achieved by importing earthbender slaves into the homeland. It would probably even be more effective. Her fool of brother was simply too compassionate. Strong leadership was what was needed to optimise this world. His kindness wouldn't get him anywhere. He probably wouldn't even have the guts to punish overthrowers. He was weak, and her freedom proved it. The party stopped as they arrived at a relatively crowded area. Azula reasoned that it had to be the market.

"It would probably be most efficient if we split up", Jeong-Jeong said, "princess, you'll come with me!" Azula gave the deserter a hateful glare. Did he just give her an order? She was a princess. Apart from the Fire Lord no one was above her, not even an admiral. "You know your conditions, princess, constant supervision", the old man said as he noticed Azula's unwillingness. Of course, the conditions, how could she forget? She wasn't a princess at all, was she? No, all she was since her brother took her throne away, was a prisoner whom they kept referring to as princess out of sheer habit, nothing more. Even though she didn't feel like it, she complied with the admiral's orders. She couldn't risk being imprisoned again. It would destroy all the hope she had of ever being free again. Right now obeying was her best option, her time would come. Accompanied by the deserter she set foot on the market square. It was a peculiar sight, seeing all these people walking crisscross past each other. She couldn't remember the last time she went to the market. Had she actually ever done it? She was royalty after all. There would be no need for her to go to the market, she had servants for those affairs. It was a good thing too. This place was pure chaos. There was no logic whatsoever in the pattern of the shoppers. In fact it was a miracle that they didn't collide every two seconds. Ignoring the crowd, the two firebenders headed towards a vegetable stand. "Good afternoon", Jeong-Jeong greeted the vendor.

"Good afternoon", the grocer replied, "How can I help you?"

Jeong-Jeong took an image scroll that he was carrying in his robes and unfolded it. "Do you happen to know this woman by any chance?", he asked.

"Hmm." The man carefully examined the picture. "That's Ursa, isn't it?" The deserter nodded. "Nice lady", the grocer continued, "What's your business with her?"

"I've been given the task to take her daughter to her", Jeong-Jeong answered while pointing at Azula, "They have some issues to sort out." Azula rolled her eyes. The fewer issues they would be sorting out the better. If it were up to her, she wouldn't even be seeing her.

"I see", the merchant said.

"No you don't!", Azula immediately hissed in reply, instantly forcing the vendor to take a step backwards and look away. The look in her eyes was cold as ice. If her words hadn't scared the vendor already, that look was guarantied to make him feel extremely uneasy, whenever he looked at her.

The man took a deep breath. Making sure he didn't give the young girl that had managed to scare the living daylights out of him with a mere three words another look, the vendor turned towards the old admiral. "I suppose she's the smart one", he said softly, though loud enough for Azula to hear.

"I beg your pardon, sir", Jeong-Jeong asked confused.

"Well", the grocer explained, "Ursa often bragged about the children she was forced to leave behind when she was banished, but then again what mother wouldn't. A boy and a girl, I think. She couldn't tell a single bad thing about them. One of them was extremely sweet and compassionate and the other extremely smart and talented. … For some reason I doubt, she's the sweet one." Azula's expression lightened up a little. Her mouth fell slightly open in surprise. Her mother actually spoke about her. Even more surprising was the fact that she only said good things. Could this actually be true? It couldn't be. This guy had to be lying, but why would he? What would be in it for him? He didn't seem to mind saying bad things, himself. It didn't make sense. Her mother didn't care about her. She knew she didn't, or did she? Was Zuko right after all? She had to see for herself. Only then would she be persuaded that her mother actually did love her. Deep down, she hoped it were true, but it couldn't. Nothing about Azula's past with her mother, except for the very distant past, suggested that Ursa actually loved her daughter. She cared for Zuko, that was for sure, but when was the last time she actually showed affection towards Azula. "She never lost hope of seeing her children back one day", the grocer continued, "Not even when she gave birth to her daughter two years ago. She lives in a cottage at the Blister Lake, it's a walk of about an hour."

"Thanks", Jeong-Jeong said as he deposited some copper coins on the desk in front of the vegetable merchant.

"I'm glad to have been of assistance", the grocer yelled in reply as the fallen princess and the former deserter left the market. The vendor quickly took the coins and put them in his moneybag. He sighed in relief that the girl was gone. He could only hope he wouldn't see her again any time soon as she really did frighten him. How could anybody act the way she did? Silent for most of the time, and the one fraction of a moment she did speak, she had managed to get him at loss, forced to pull himself together again and search for his words. No one had ever managed to do that to the gossipy grocer. Who knew what was going on in this girl's mind.

"_Nor Zuko, nor Azula!", Azula heard her mother yell. The eight year old granddaughter of the Fire Lord had gotten used to hearing her mother and father argue, but as she heard her own name, she reckoned it might be interesting to know what this particular row was all about. Obviously she couldn't enter the room without being noticed, but there was no need to. Her parents' voices were raised enough to discern the words from outside. All she had to do was get as close as possible without being seen or heard by the servants or her parents. Stealthily she moved as close to the door as she could, hiding behind an ornamental plant in case servants would pass by._

"_Listen woman", she heard her father say, "I'm not interfering with the way you raise your failure of a son. I think the least I could ask for, is to mind your own business when it comes to the upbringing of my prodigy." Azula cheered silently. Her father was right. Her mother had nothing to do with her education, hence she shouldn't be whining about it. What did she know about a royal education, about ruling a country, even though the chances were slim that Azula ever would, anyway? Nothing! Hence, she shouldn't be complaining, this wasn't her call._

"_Upbringing!?", Ursa shouted. She just didn't know when to give up, did she? There was no way she would win this argument. She would only end up making a fool of herself, just like Zuko always did. "You're turning her into a monster." The last sentence echoed in Azula's mind. Had her own mother just called her a monster? She knew her mother preferred Zuko over her, but this. She couldn't believe it. She wouldn't. It wasn't true. This was nothing but a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. Tears formed in the young girl's eyes and without caring for the rest of the conversation, she ran off to her room. She leapt onto her bed and dug her head deep into her pillow, sobbing uncontrollably. Her own mother thought she was a monster. She kept crying, hoping someone would come to comfort her. Her mother perhaps, telling her that it was nothing but a bad dream. But no one came, not mother, not Zuko, not even a nosy servant. She was alone. It didn't matter. Mother didn't want her, fine, she wouldn't have her, she could spend the rest of her miserable life with Zuzu. Azula would be her father's child and nothing but her father's child. She wiped away her tears. Father had told her they were a sign of weakness and weakness was something she couldn't afford. She would be the perfect little girl for daddy. She would do anything he asked of her, no matter how hard, no matter how annoying and whether she felt like it or not. She would even do the impossible. She didn't need her mother. Dad would love her. She was going to make sure he did._

That was the last time Azula had cried until the day of the comet came. The day she saw her mother again for the first time in five years. Except that it wasn't really her mother, she was alone, she was truly alone and it was that realization that eventually broke her. The statue she was, instantly weathered into pebbles. She managed to hold herself together for a little longer, but after the loss of her throne she completely fell apart. There was no point anymore in denying that she wasn't happy. She hadn't been happy since their last family holiday to Ember Island, when she was playing hide-and-seek with Zuko. A mere day later her father had discovered her firebending skills, as she and Zuko were practicing on the courtyard. She had easily equalled her older brother's skill, only to wish now that she hadn't. It was what had led to her downfall, to her mother's rejection. Happiness was far away from that moment on, and even farther away a year later, when her own mother had called her a monster. Only once, since that time, could she observe the light of happiness in the distance: during her most recent trip to Ember Island. For once, she was free of political obligations and military duties. She could do as she pleased. She could have fun with her friends and brother. But even though they had a fun time, at least at moments, it simply wasn't complete. Her brother still hadn't accepted her. She had tried to show care, to be understanding. It was hard. Harder than generating lightning. But in the end, it didn't matter. He just didn't care for her the way she wanted him to and it hurt. She didn't show it of course. She couldn't afford any weaknesses, hence she hid it. She hid it so well that she didn't even realize herself that it hurt her. She could even lie to herself and believe it. Until now, now she had dug into her subconscious enough to realize that it did matter to her. She wanted her brother to love her, but as much as she regretted it, competition had driven them apart. But Zuko wasn't the person that had hurt her the most. No that achievement was attributed to the person whose house could now be discerned at the horizon. The person she had to see if she wanted to be considered for a pardon. Her own mother. She wasn't looking forward to meeting her. She hadn't seen her or heard from her in five years, but in her opinion her mother had already abandoned her a year earlier. Not only had she called her a monster, but she also openly suggested something was wrong with her, on several occasions, even on the day before her banishment. Azula didn't want to see her again, and the feeling was probably mutual. Or was it? That vegetable merchant had said, that her mother talked about her. She was even proud to do so, calling her daughter extremely smart and talented. The man had even said that her mother never lost hope of seeing her children once again. Children was what he said, not child, or son, but children, which meant that she wanted to see Azula again too. But what could have caused this sudden change of mind in her mother? Was Azula the opposite of the old 'out of sight, out of mind' proverb? Has Ursa never stopped loving her after all? She sure had a funny way of showing it. Maybe she finally realized how perfect Azula really was? Who was she fooling? She wasn't perfect, she was nothing but a wreck and she had her mother to thank for it. Even if her mother genuinely cared for her, something the fallen princess still doubted, she did not deserve to be loved back. Not after all the things she had done to her. Azula couldn't just forget about them. They had scarred her soul, probably for the rest of her life. She was the real scarred sibling, not Zuko, he just looked scarred. His scar was on the outside, it was nothing but a shell. It was different in her case. She looked as if she was perfectly alright, but under this shell she was a complete mess, not sure about what to feel anymore, unsure about what to think and how to act. Voices that weren't hers and images that weren't really present would often come to torment her, to rub her problems into her face again. It was horrible. And there was nothing she could do to make them go away. They came as they pleased and they left as they pleased. The cottage came closer and closer. It wouldn't be long before she would be standing at the front door, face to face with the first person ever to betray her. How would she react if she saw her daughter again? Azula tried to think of it, but found herself unable to predict her mother's actions. It was odd. She had always been able to read and predict anyone's behaviour with complete ease, but here she walked not even having the faintest clue of how her own mother would react upon seeing her. It didn't make her feel more comfortable at all. Her calculations on other's behaviour were what had always made her feel safe, but right now this safety was completely absent. It was like the time on Ember Island, when she tried to get some male attention, without much success no matter how hard she tried. This was even worse. She stopped walking. Right in front of her was the dreaded front door. Her journey's denouement was nothing but a knock away. She looked around. The old men were still surrounding her. She soon focused on the traitor, Jeong-Jeong, he seemed to be looking for something in his robes. What could it be? Were they planning on executing her after all? Right here at her mother's house, if it actually was her mother's house? The deserter seemed to have found what he was looking for. Not even moving her eyes off him for the tiniest moment, she saw the sealed scroll appear from underneath his robes. She remembered now, Zuko had asked her to hand this scroll over to their mother. She took the rolled piece of paper with her left hand as the admiral offered it to her. "We will be right behind you, princess", Azula heard him say as he took a step backwards. It sounded as if he tried to put some heart into her. It was ridiculous. Why would she need to be encouraged? She was the strongest girl in the world, or wasn't she? She raised her right hand, clenching it into a fist. All she needed to do was move it back and forth to knock on the door, but it didn't happen. She just stood there, immobile, her fist raised and ready to knock on the last obstacle that separated her from her forced reunion, but the knock itself didn't come. Could it be that she was actually afraid? Afraid to face her mother? Wasn't it what she wanted to do? Didn't she want to let her mother know what she had put her through? She took a deep breath. It actually was what she wanted to do. She wanted to show her mother how much she had made her daughter suffer. With regained pugnacity she made the final movement. There was no going back now.

Silence filled the next couple of seconds. Maybe her mother wasn't home. It would surely make things easier if she weren't. No confrontation, no awkward moments … no pardon. The sound of a closing door could be heard inside. Someone was home after all. Footsteps calmly approached the front door. It was definitely a woman, hence it had to be her mother. It wouldn't be long before she would finally see her mother again. The door opened and a woman wearing a common Earth Kingdom outfit appeared. Her mouth fell slightly open in surprise as she saw the girl in front of her. Could it really be true? Her amber eyes were wide open, scanning the vaguely familiar girl from top to toe. "A-Azula?", she finally stuttered, "Is that really you?"

"Good evening, mother", Azula coldly replied. Her mother looked pretty much the way she remembered her. Perhaps she had a few more wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, and she wasn't wearing her Fire Nation headpiece anymore. But apart from that, the woman was pretty much identical to the image in her mind.

Ursa couldn't believe her eyes. It truly was her daughter and despite Azula's indifferent behaviour, it put a smile on the woman's face to see her again. "I'm so glad you came to visit me", the mother said motioning to hug her daughter.

Azula stopped her. After all her mother had put her through, she was far from willing to accept her back. "Don't make this harder than it already is, mother. I've got orders from the almighty and omniscient", she said these last words with quite a deal of bitter sarcasm, "Fire Lord Zuko to take you to him." The former princess gave her mother the sealed scroll. She opened it and quickly scanned its message. "I suggest we leave immediately", Azula continued, "The sooner we leave, the sooner we will arrive back at the Fire Nation and the sooner you will see your son again. And while you're at it, you could do a good word for me. It's the least you could do, after all the misery you put me through!"

The hostility her own daughter showed towards her, shocked Ursa a little, as well as the battle of emotions she could see in Azula's face. What happened to her? How could it have happened to her? She always was so strong and determined. Nothing of that person could be noticed in front of her now. Did she finally break? Ursa feared it might happen one day. Azula had always been too grown-up, controlling and cruel for her age, but she hoped that the love of her friends and perhaps her brother, as well as her own strength, would keep her together. Obviously, it didn't. Zuko had asked 

her in his scroll to make sure that Azula staid as long as she needed, and whether she liked it or not, that meant leaving immediately wasn't an option. "But sweetheart", Ursa tried to persuade her daughter, "This is my home. I've got a family here too. I can't just leave unannounced. Besides it's late, I'm sure your crew would like to have a rest too."

"Bu-but …" Azula didn't know what to say. She hadn't expected that her mother would oppose. She wasn't supposed to. "No one said you had to stay", she tried to say as calm as possible. But it was all too clear she was nervous, especially to her mother. "The sooner we arrive, the sooner you can go back. … There's no harm in leaving at night, we left the Fire Nation at night." She turned towards Jeong-Jeong.

The admiral slowly shook his head. "Actually, I'd prefer to leave in daylight, princess", he said, "the Gulf of Fire is surrounded by land and hence pretty quiet, but this is the open sea we're talking about, and it's known to be quite rough in this area too."

Azula couldn't believe what was happening. Since when did people get the courage to oppose her. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, she always got what she wanted. "So everyone's against me", she hissed, "I should have known you would all turn out to be traitors!" Pure rage could now be read from her expression. She took a stance ready to firebend, but a feeling on her shoulder stopped her.

"Honey, please", Ursa tried to calm down her daughter. She could feel Azula hesitate, but her shoulder was still very tense. "No one is betraying you. We're just saying that it might be a good idea if you took a rest on solid ground. You can stay here. I've got a room especially for you." She removed her hand from her daughter's shoulder as she noticed the tension in it decrease. "Come on, Azula, we have a lot to talk about." The girl entered the hallway as Ursa turned towards the group that had escorted her daughter. "I suppose it wouldn't be too much to ask to give me and my daughter some privacy, would it?" At first Jeong-Jeong protested, saying that Azula was still too unpredictable to be left unguarded, but the former Fire Lord's wife insisted that it would be in her daughter's best interest, if she weren't constantly guarded. "I'm more than willing to take the risk, admiral", she said. In the end the deserter folded. However, as long as Azula resided the place, her house would be under constant supervision of masters and Yu Yan archers. Ursa knew she wouldn't be able to bargain for more. "Thank you, admiral", she said as she closed the door. Azula felt uneasy in the small corridor, and the fact she was sharing the space with the last person she'd want to share it with didn't make her feel any better. Ursa instantly noticed her daughter's nervousness. "Don't worry, Azula", she whispered, "This is as much your house as it is mine." It didn't make her feel any better. Ursa opened the door to the living room and motioned her daughter to follow her. Azula noticed there were two other persons in the room: a man, about her father's age, not too tall, but strongly built, and a little girl, she seemed barely capable of walking, let alone talking. "Leo darling", Ursa said to the man, obviously her second husband, "Could you take Tara for a walk or something, I need to discuss some things with Azula."

The little girl immediately stood up upon seeing the Fire Lord's, and apparently her own, mother. She ran over to her, falling twice, but it didn't seem to bother her. "Mommy, mommy, mommy!", she yelled as she wrapped herself around Ursa's leg like a strangler fig. Her eye then fell on her mother's guest. "Who she?", she asked while loosening her grip.

"That's your big sister Azula, honey", Ursa replied.

The nipper's eyes were wide open, watching the bigger girl in amazement. "She bootifuw." Azula's mouth fell slightly open. She never expected to hear this, certainly not from an infant. If she hadn't been flabbergasted, she could actually have smiled.

"She is", Ursa replied, "Maybe you'll look just like her, one day." She turned to Azula, whom she noticed was clearly touched by the comment. "Little kids, hey", she said, "always say exactly what's on their mind." Azula couldn't answer, still impressed by the girl's few words.

Leo had put on something warm in the mean while. "Into your coat, Tara", he said, "we're going for a walk." The girl immediately ran towards her father cheering. The man put on the girls coat and carried her into his arms. As he left, he kissed his wife.

"Don't bother the men guarding our house", Ursa called after him. He nodded and closed the door. It was just her and Azula now. "Have a seat", the mother invited her daughter to sit. Azula took the invitation and sat down on the nearest cushion. Ursa took a seat right opposed to her. "Zuko wrote that you were going through a hard time, and that I'm probably the only one who can help you. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No", Azula replied turning her head away from her mother. It was bad enough that she had to spend the night in this place, but her mother tormenting her with stupid questions about her life, a life that she chose not to be a part of, was the last thing Azula needed.

Ursa noticed she wasn't making much headway. "I owe you more than a good word, honey", she said, "I want to help you, and Zuko asked me to make sure you stayed here as long as you needed."

"Just for tonight", Azula replied, "I thought we already came to an agreement on this."

"What you want and what you need, are two different things, Azula." Ursa's voice remained calm and encouraging. She hoped her daughter would realize that she was only trying to help her.

"And how would you know what I need!?", Azula yelled in reply, "You weren't even there for me most of the time!"

"I'm your mother, Azula!", Ursa replied a little frustrated.

"Some mother you were", the princess muttered looking away, "You never loved me, you thought I was a monster."

"What?" Ursa was shocked with her daughter's revelation. How could she even think something that awful? "I never thought you were a monster, Azula. … and I do love you. I always have and I always will … unconditionally."

"Don't lie to me mother!", Azula snapped, "I heard your row with dad. You said he turned me into a monster."

It took Ursa a while to recall what argument Azula was talking about. Had she overheard that? Ursa never meant it to come over like that. Azula had just taken it too literally. But then again, she was only a young girl at that time, of course she took it literally. Why did Azula happen to hear that? If only she could turn back time.

"_Azula, what's this?" Ursa pulled up her daughter's sleeve exposing a red area in the shape of a hand on her upper arm. Ursa knew what it was of course, and she could easily guess who was responsible for it, but she wanted to hear the girl say it._

"_N-nothing", the eight year old girl stuttered in reply._

_Ursa wasn't surprised with the reply at all. Azula had always been very against the grain towards her lately, especially on this subject. However she wasn't a woman to just give up on her children, no matter what they did. "It doesn't look like nothing, honey", the mother replied softly._

_The young prodigy had hoped her mother would just abandon the matter. She had nothing to do with it. It was her own problem. The girl should just have done her best more. But apparently the girl's hope was in vain. "I just tripped and burned myself on the carpet, that's all", she quickly lied._

"_Last time I checked, carpet burns don't have the shape of a hand, young lady." Ursa's voice was slightly reprimanding, but still soft to keep her daughter at ease._

_Azula didn't like it. Why didn't her mother mind her own business? Why wouldn't she just go and feed the bloody turtle ducks with Zuzu, or something like that? "Well, this one does, OK!", she snapped._

_Azula's outburst had shocked her mother. "I'm only trying to help you, Azula", she said concerned._

"_I don't want your help!", the girl yelled, "Why can't you just mind your own business?" She ran off._

_Ursa didn't try to follow her. Azula wouldn't listen anyway. She had to take care of the problem at its source. She headed towards her husband's study and knocked on the door. "Come in", she heard the Fire Lord's son say. His wife obeyed. "What's the matter, Ursa", he said sternly as she entered the room._

"_I saw what you did to Azula's arm", the mother said._

"_What's it to you?", Ozai replied stoically, "You have your own child to take care of."_

"_That's not how it works, Ozai", Ursa yelled, "They're both our children. And I don't want you to hurt them, nor Zuko, nor Azula!"_

"_Listen woman", Ozai said, slightly raising his voice, "I'm not interfering with the way you raise your failure of a son. I think the least I could ask for is to mind your own business when it comes to the upbringing of my prodigy."_

_This comment aggravated Ursa. How dare he think of their children like that. She would tell him what she thought of that. "Upbringing!?", Ursa shouted, "You're turning her into a monster, Ozai, alien to any kind of emotion."_

_Ozai lost his usually stoic temper. "And that's what it takes to rule a country", he yelled as he slapped his wife in the face, "Emotions are for the weak. Our country deserves better than a weak ruler."_

_Ursa pulled herself together. So that's what he was after. As if Azula would ever rule the country. Ozai wasn't even in line for the throne. "I don't care what you do to me, Ozai", she said, "but know that I won't sit idly if you harm our children." With these words Ursa left the room, leaving her husband rather flabbergasted._

"I never said you were a monster, Azula. I told your father that's what he was turning you into, with his idea of an education." She reached out for her daughter, but Azula slapped the gesture away.

"If you don't think of me as a monster", the fallen princess hissed, "Why have you so often thought out loud something was wrong with me? … And I'm quite sure I didn't misunderstand that, as it was a quite straightforward remark."

"I'm sorry you heard that", Ursa said.

"I bet you are", Azula replied sarcastically, "But that doesn't make it right, does it? It hurt, it still does."

Ursa knew Azula had every right to be upset about this. Why did she ever say it in the first place? "I know, honey", the older woman said with genuine regret in her voice, "I was worried. All this cruelty in your mind couldn't be good for you, and seeing you now confirms that I had every right to be worried. But you're right, I should have been more considerate and I'm sorry to have hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, Azula, I love you."

Azula was furious. It seemed that every reason she had for hating her mother, could easily be turned into something good by the same person and Azula hated her deeply for it. How could that woman make her feel so guilty about her own feelings. She'd probably cry, but she did her very best to fight the tears. She wouldn't grant her mother the pleasure to see her cry, not after all the things she had done to her. Nevertheless, Azula still had a chance to win the argument, and this time Ursa wouldn't be able to make a come-back. "You always loved Zuko more", she said.

"No, that's not true", Ursa replied.

"Do you think I'm blind, mother? You always spent time with Zuko, never with me. Why!?"

"I spent more time with Zuko, because your father totally ignored him, once he discovered how talented you were. I tried to spend time with you too, but you became less willing every day, eventually you didn't even want anything to do with me. I suppose your father managed to set you against me. … But that doesn't mean I didn't love you as much as I loved Zuko."

"You're just telling me what I want to hear, … I can see through your lies mother." This comment saddened Ursa. She meant every word she said, but she reckoned Azula had a right to be confused. Life's been hard on her daughter, and she wished she could have been there to assist her. "Tell me something, mother", Azula continued, "Why were you actually banished?"

That's a question Ursa didn't see coming. Why would Azula want to hear about that? "I thought out a plot to get your father on the throne", she said, "Being a calligrapher, I could easily forge you grandfather's handwriting. So I wrote a false will, stating he wanted Ozai to be his successor. I then poisoned Azulon's sleeping tea. He died peacefully. All I had left to do was seal the new will and put it on his desk. Your father didn't want to take any risks and therefore banished me, I suppose not executing me was his way of saying 'thank you'."

"But why did you actually do it, mother?" Azula's voice was cold and calm. She knew the answer and she wanted her mother to say it. There was no way out this time.

"Fire Lord Azulon had ordered your father to kill Zuko. I couldn't let that happen."

"Zuko again", Azula whispered scornful, "Would you have done the same thing for me?"

It hurt Ursa to see all this pent-up wrath in her daughter. "Azula, how could you even th…"

"Don't avoid my question mother!", Azula angrily interrupted, "WOULD YOU HAVE DONE THE SAME FOR ME?" She was still trying to fight the tears away, but it became harder every second.

"Of course I would." Azula burst out in tears. It was too much for her. Ursa immediately wrapped her arms around her daughter. "It's OK, sweetie", she said as Azula sobbed on her shoulder, "I'm here for you now." Ursa started singing softly. It had been years since Azula last heard that song. It was the lullaby Ursa sang for her when she tucked her in. At least until she didn't want to be tucked in anymore. Ursa glided her hand through her broken daughter's hair. Eventually, Azula's breathing stabilized again. She never had a shoulder to cry upon and it was a welcome change. She loosened her grip and rubbed away the remainder of tears. "I think some rest would do you good, don't you think?", Ursa said. Azula didn't move. "We can talk again tomorrow. I'm sure you'll love it here, there are woods you can hike, there's a lake you can swim in."

"But …", Azula timidly interrupted, "I didn't bring any beachwear."

Ursa smiled when she heard her daughter's reaction. She had managed to get to her girly side. "Don't worry", she reassured her daughter, "We could always buy you something if you like. Now come on, I'll show you your room." Both former princesses stood up and took the stairs. Azula couldn't believe her eyes when she was shown her room. It looked just like her room in the palace. It was a lot smaller of course, but her mother had clearly gone through a lot of trouble to make it look as similar as possible. The colour was the same, the bed looked the same, same closets, same mirror, same wall ornaments. Her mouth wide open, she turned towards her mother. "The good thing about living in a country with earthbenders", Ursa said, "is that construction is relatively quick and easy, and hence cheap. It was no trouble at all to construct two extra rooms in case you and your brother ever returned. Decorating them was something else, but I was glad to do it." Azula sat down on the mattress of her bed. It was a commoner's mattress and her blankets were certainly not made of silk, but it was a lot better than what she had in prison. She changed and went between the sheets. Ursa tucked her in, something else that Azula hadn't experienced in years. She didn't oppose. In fact she had missed it. "Goodnight, sweetheart", Ursa said as she kissed Azula on the forehead. She left the door ajar as she exited, exactly like she used to do when Azula was little. It struck Azula. Could it be that she actually went back in time


	8. Chapter 8 Headway

**Yay, chapter 8. I had some trouble uploading it for some odd reason but here it is. Enjoy.  
**

**Previously: Zuko sent Azula on a trip to find her mother, as he realizes she is the only one who can help his sister. Even though it wasn't easy at times, Azula did eventually find Ursa, and she gladly took her daughter in.**

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Chapter 8 Headway

Three weeks had passed since Azula and Ursa were reunited. They had been devoid of any kind of major incident so far, but quiet was the last word any person in his right mind would ever use for them. Hallucinations hadn't haunted the former Fire Nation princess since her arrival. As most of her hallucinations were of her mother, this could have been expected. What was the point of the hallucination, if she had the real deal right in front of her? Or maybe she still did hallucinate, but she just couldn't tell the difference with her real mother. It seemed unlikely though, as the mother in her former hallucinations looked younger and always wore her Fire Nation clothes and she couldn't remember a single conversation with her mother since that time in which her mother hadn't touched her in some way or another, the hallucinations never did that. Her voices were a completely different story though. They didn't seem to be so keen on giving up on tormenting her. Whenever the former princess had to make a choice or wasn't sure about something, they would appear. Ursa first found out about Azula's invisible torturers two days after her arrival, when she asked her daughter if she fancied going to the market with her. The question was a very simple one and yet Azula grabbed for her head. She tensely shut her eyes and jaws and slowly started shaking her head. Ursa immediately noticed something was wrong with her daughter and tried to calm her down. "Maybe you should rest some more", she had said, "Just tell me whether there is anything you need, and we'll talk when I get back, OK?" Ursa didn't know if she did the right thing, but Azula immediately loosened up. By taking the choice away, the mother had effectively managed to shut the voices up, at least for the time being. The conversation that followed once Ursa came back from the market was an awkward one, but then again, so was every conversation with Azula during her first days at her mother's house.

"_You can tell me, Azula", her mother spoke gently, "… What's bothering you?" The conversation had been going for a while, without much success unfortunately. But Ursa wasn't a person to just give up. She had to know what was wrong if she wanted to help her daughter._

"_It … it's just these bloody voices", Azula stuttered reluctantly, "They keep on coming as the please, and I just can't find a way … to stop them." Azula was ashamed to admit that there was something she couldn't handle. The fact that it was something nonexistent only made it worse._

_Ursa was glad to hear her daughter say it, even though she wasn't sure how to solve it, if she could actually solve it. She put her hand on her daughter's shoulder to set her at ease. "Voices?", she said, "like one telling you to do something and the other telling you to do the opposite?" Maybe she could help Azula better if she gave her more details, even though she realized Azula might not be so willing to give those._

"_If only", Azula replied, "I don't know how many there are, but they're tearing me apart in every possible direction."_

It was at that time that Ursa realized how serious Azula's condition really was. And even though she didn't really have an idea how to solve it, she assured her daughter that she would help her to get rid of them. And oddly enough, it seemed that she was actually capable of keeping that promise. Despite her own uncertainties, Ursa had proven to be very efficient in silencing the voices and eventually Azula even managed to do the job herself. In due time the voices emerged less frequently and became less persistent, but they still appeared nonetheless. Preventing this was the final and probably hardest step in their extermination, but Ursa was confident that they would succeed eventually.

Even though the princess wouldn't admit it, and she might not even realize it, Ursa's help meant a lot to Azula and in the past three weeks the two managed to create the bond, they should have had all those years ago. If Azula woke up screaming in the middle of the night, her mother would be at her side to calm her down within a fraction of a moment. Unfortunately, these nights were all too frequent, as Ursa didn't want to use any external means to help her daughter sleep, if she didn't want to. Ursa didn't even know, which daughter woke her up most often in the past three weeks. At first it was Azula, but recently Tara took the lead, as it was supposed to be.

The little girl also played an important role in the former princess' recovery. At first Azula had frequently used her as an argument that her mother was all to eager to replace her. Ursa usually managed to persuade her otherwise, but the topic did return quite a few times. Oddly enough the prodigy never acted that way when Tara was actually around. She appreciated the clean slate the little girl offered her and Tara obviously looked up to her newly acquired big sister. Nevertheless, their relationship had been awkward, and it wasn't until recently that Azula had actually agreed to look after and play with the child at the Blister Lake. When they returned home that day the nipper was in an extremely enthusiastic mood, Azula's face however was as indifferent as it was usually. Ursa felt satisfied however. The old Azula would never have done that, and the fact that she did now helped to persuade her mother that her condition was stabilizing and that she was breaking free from her father's grip.

Ursa had closely watched her daughter grow out of her insanity, but none of the days were as fruitful as the last week. She slept more soundly, she agreed to go to the market with her mother, even her paranoia faded away. As long as it was her mother who had made and served the meals, she ate them without suspicion. If Leo, or anyone else for that matter, coincidentally prepared the meal however, the ritual of tasting beforehand, typical for her first two weeks of residence , was carried into effect once more. Azula could still be quite rude and still had some superiority issues, but nevertheless her mother felt she was stabile and it filled her with joy. She tried to think of a possible key moment. What might have triggered this accelerated evolution?

_Azula obeyed as her mother called her. Apparently the time for their daily chat had come again. The former princess didn't mind talking to her mother, as she realized the talks did seem to help her, but the fact they were always about the same things started to bore her. Getting ready for another session of "How are you?"-s, "Still hearing voices?"-s and "What do you want to do?"-s, she sat down in front of her mother. Neither of these questions came though. Much to her surprise, what she heard was: "Show me some firebending, Azula."_

"_Huh?", the girl gasped confused._

"_Nothing advanced", Ursa continued, "Just show me a few flames. I realized I haven't been asking about your bending since you arrived, despite the fact that it was something at which you always excelled. I've seen used candles in your room, so I suppose you haven't lost your touch."_

_Azula felt more sure again. Apparently her mother had become bored with having the same talk too. "Sure", she said as she rose her right hand in front of her. She kept it vertical with it's palm up. She slightly curled her fingers up and a small blue flame appeared on all five of them. She effortlessly juggled the flames between her fingers._

_Ursa watched the miniature spectacle in amazement. "How come they're blue?", she asked. It was a rather peculiar view. Before her banishment Azula's flames had always been the usual orange. In fact the older woman had never seen anyone produce flames in a different colour. It made her smile that her own daughter could._

"_I always wanted my own kind of fire", Azula replied with a slight glimpse of arrogance in her voice. Ursa didn't bother it though, she had the right to be proud. "A bit of practice on my own, and this was the result."_

"_I think it's beautiful", Ursa said impressed, "It shows how special you are." Azula was touched by this comment. Her father didn't even do as much as congratulate her for her discovery. Fire was fire whatever colour it had, the techniques were what made a firebender powerful. She had to have the strength to do a powerful blast and the finesse to do a refined flame. Since he had become Fire Lord, he never praised her, and before that he only did to brag about his achievements in front of his father. Her mother on the other hand, whom she had accused on multiple occasions of not loving her, was impressed and even complimented her for it. It surprised her. She was wrong after all. Her mother did love her. She was sure of it now. A single tear and temporary loss of her speech accompanied the realization._

That conversation had indeed been the landmark in Azula's recovery process. However Ursa felt that one thing was still missing. Even though the princess seemed to be mentally healthy again, her mother still hadn't seen her enjoy herself or even genuinely smile. The activities Ursa proposed to the princess in order to clear her mind and be happy, didn't seem to bother Azula, but they didn't seem to rejoice her either and this saddened the former Fire Lord's wife. She had finally reconciled with her long lost daughter, her problems were only a fraction of what they were when she first arrived here, but the girl still wasn't happy. Ursa thought about it as she put Tara in bed for her siesta. There had to be a way to get rid of this last obstacle. An idea soon popped up in her mind, but she dismissed it just as quick, for it was too extreme in her opinion. Did she really have a choice though? Despite running every possible plan or scenario through her mind, she couldn't find a fitting alternative to reach her goal. She decided to give it a try and called Azula. As Leo was working in the garden and Tara was asleep, privacy wouldn't be an issue, and Azula wouldn't feel any restraints to speak freely. "How do you feel, Azula?", Ursa asked as her daughter entered the room.

Azula just shrugged. "Fine I guess", she replied indifferently.

"Happy?", Ursa queried on.

"Not really", was the prodigy's reply, "But not unhappy either."

"Hmm … maybe you're still too much of a princess, Azula."

Clearly confused, Azula looked at her mother. "What do you mean", she asked, "I **am** a princess."

"That's not necessarily as good a thing as you think it is", Ursa replied. Azula was puzzled. What was that supposed to mean? "Let me explain", her mother continued, "Because of your status, you were used to get as much as you pleased. As a result you take small gestures and common things for granted. … Happiness is always to be found in small gestures though, but you won't find it if you take these gestures for granted. You'll have to learn to appreciate them."

"How am I supposed to do that?", Azula asked annoyed.

"You'll have to let go of your pride, sweetie", Ursa replied, but judging Azula's expression, it wasn't the reply she had hoped to receive. After all, one can't get rid of one's pride by just snapping his fingers. How was she ever supposed to do this? The older woman noticed the girl didn't follow her. "It's not going to be easy, I know. … You'll have to experience humble life to achieve the goal."

"I've been in prison", Azula protested, "I doubt there's anything more humbling than that."

"You underwent a humble life", Ursa corrected her, "But you didn't exactly experience a humble life. Besides, you weren't exactly a paragon of mental health at the time either."

Azula growled. "So what are you going to do", she almost yelled, "Lock me up in my room."

Ursa expected it to be hard to warm Azula up on the idea, but she didn't foresee Azula would be this hostile. "No of course not, honey" Ursa said resolutely, but making sure not to raise her voice, "That would by no means be fair towards you, certainly not now. Locking you up could undo all the progress you made and it would rather force you to undergo a humble life than give you the necessary experience. … You don't have to do it, if you don't want to. The choice is completely yours, but keep in mind that it might help you."

Azula didn't like her mother's secretive behaviour at all. "What am I supposed to then?", she asked with clear annoyance in her voice.

Ursa realized it was best not to mince matters. "Chores", she said.

"Chores!?", Azula yelled.

"Shh, don't wake up Tara", Ursa whispered, "Like I said, you're free to do as you like, but I think it would help you if you helped out Leo a little in the garden."

Azula didn't answer at first. In the past she would have dismissed the idea without even as much as a second thought. But not this time, and her voices eagerly took the opportunity. _What is she thinking? You don't do chores. That's a peasant's job. — That's right, you're a princess. — How can doing chores ever help you? — If the guy needed help, he'd have asked. — If he really needs help, then why doesn't she help him. — It's not your place to do chores. —Your mother must be losing it herself. — It doesn't make sense!_ It was odd, for her voices had never been in unison like this before, except for one that could barely be noticed in the cacophony of the rest. _Trust your mother, Azula_, it sounded, _she loves you._ The thought of humility didn't appeal to Azula at all, but she knew Ursa wanted to help her. In the past she had always done what she thought she wanted, and it had ultimately led her to the worst possible fate. Nevertheless, Azula was reluctant, she had never done anything like it. It was beneath her. She wasn't a peasant, she was a princess. "I … I …", she hesitated, "I … I'll do it." Ursa was pleasantly surprised when she heard it and even the fire princess herself couldn't believe she actually just said that. There was no going back however. Retreating is a sign of weakness, and weakness was something she had already shown too many times in her mother's presence. Her mother didn't mind it, but Azula still hated being weak.

Ursa stood up and kissed the girl on her forehead. "I'm proud of you", she said, "You chose to do something that clashes with everything you used to stand for. I know how hard that is. … And it shows how strong you really are." Azula forced out a smile at the irony. Here she stood thinking it was weak to retreat from a made deal, while her mother praised her strength for accepting to do something, she wouldn't even have considered a week ago.

Even though still not entirely willing, Azula stood up and left for the garden through the backdoor. She soon saw her stepfather cutting the hedges and walked towards him. "Leo", she grabbed his attention, "Mother thought you might need some help." Her voice lacked any kind of intonation.

The man looked around and was surprised to see the girl that spoke to him was his stepdaughter. "You offering to give me a hand?", he asked. Azula nodded, even though her face didn't even do as much as flinch with enthusiasm. "Very well then." The man was clearly pleased. "See those trees?" He pointed towards about half a dozen trees across the garden. "Their fruits should be ripe by now. If you could just gather them and put them in those baskets next to the trees, I'd really appreciate it." The girl nodded once more and headed towards the trees. It wasn't until an hour and a half later that Leo saw her again. She looked exhausted. She was soaking in her own sweat and her breath was heavier than any breath he'd ever heard before. "Wow", he exclaimed, "you really aren't used to doing chores huh? … Done them all?" Azula couldn't say more than a faint uh-huh. "Good", the man said, "I can take it from here, I guess. You'd better have a rest, you look like you could collapse any minute now." Azula really did feel awful, and she was happy Leo noticed and decided to give her a break. Wait! Was she actually happy? Maybe not quite, but she sure did appreciate the gesture.

Ursa greeted her daughter as she came in. "How's it been?", she asked, "Leo didn't ask you to dig a pool, did he?" Concern entered her voice. She could clearly see Azula barely had any energy left. Hence it was no surprise to her that the girl didn't answer the question. "Come on", she motioned her daughter to follow her, "I'll make you something to regain your strength." Once again the reply didn't come. All Ursa could hear was a thump behind her. She immediately turned around to see what could have caused it. A motionless mass near the backdoor immediately caught her eye. "Azula!", she called in panic, but the girl didn't react. She just lay down on the floor, where she had been standing moments earlier, not giving any sign of awareness. Ursa bent over her. The girl was still breathing, albeit irregular, and her temperature was extremely high, even for a firebending prodigy. "Stay calm, Ursa", the worried mother told herself, but how could she. Something was awfully wrong with her long lost daughter, and she might even be the one to blame for it. She didn't want to lose her again, not now they finally reconciled and definitely not like this. "Stay calm", she exhorted herself once more, "You won't help her by panicking. You just have to get her into bed and get a healer as soon as possible." She took a deep breath, everything would be alright. Azula was strong, she could easily fight herself through a little fever. The thoughts helped her keep her mind clear. Ursa took the unconscious girl in her arms. The princess was too heavy to carry up by herself though. "Leo!", she called out to her husband, "Could you give me a hand carrying Azula to her room?"

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**I think what happened to Azula is pretty obvious. If not, I suggest watching some of the last episodes of book two again. You'll also have noticed that Azula is hardly the Azula we now anymore, it was inevitable, but I tried to keep some of her traits intact and hopefully I succeeded.  
**


	9. Chapter 9 Nightmare

**Hurray, chapter 9. A special thanks to all reviewers for the kind words, ideas and inspiration. I truly think this fic is the best thing I've ever written, and hopefully people will keep enjoying it. I like this chapter, it's a bit sad perhaps, but I think it gives a good image of Ursa and Azula. I hope the constant switching of perspective doesn't bother anyone. Enjoy.  
**

**For those who haven't read the story in a while: Zuko has sent Azula on a quest to find her mother and let her help her. Once she had found her, mother and daughter slowly started to build up a bond. Unfortunately fate struck in a less than pleasant way, when Ursa tried to teach her daughter a lesson of humility**

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Chapter 9 Nightmare

"It's unlike anything I've ever seen before", the healer said once he had finished examining Azula, "All of her internal organs seem to be working just fine, a bit slow perhaps because of the fever, but nothing seems to be wrong with her. And yet her temperature is a lot higher than is good for her. I can't explain why." Doctor Dai Fu has been a healer for many years, probably the most experienced on Bandao, but the condition Azula was floating in, truly puzzled him. Apart from the fever, there was nothing that seemed to indicate an illness.

Ursa was sitting next to the bed, sadly watching the unconscious girl, who had been struck by a disease that not even the peninsula's most experienced healer knew of. Barely had she been reunited with her long lost daughter and now the possibility of being torn apart again, in the worst possible way, came into eyesight. Ursa dreaded the thought more than anything else. She hoped that maybe Dai Fu had overlooked something. Azula's breath was far from usual at the time she fainted. It had to mean something. "She … she was panting for breath at the time she collapsed", Ursa forced out, "Doesn't that mean anything, doctor?"

The healer moved his hand down his chin, while he thought. "The higher burning rate in her body might have caused a lack of oxygen, which is probably why she gasped. I'm positive however that there's nothing wrong with her lungs and she breathes at quite a regular pattern right now."

Ursa hanged her head as she heard the doctor's words. She gently caressed her daughter's boiling forehead. "There has to be something we can do", she said.

Dai Fu sighed. "The only thing we can do", he replied, "is fight a further temperature increase. You should cool her down and let her sweat it out. She's sweating quite heavily, so I fear dehydration might become an issue too. If she wakes up, even if only for a few moments, make her drink. Don't give her anything to eat on the first day, and only small meals, that can easily be swallowed, afterwards. I'm afraid that's the best we can do, madam, I'm sorry."

"It's OK", Ursa replied melancholically, "I just wish I could do more." She submerged a cloth in a bucket filled with water and laid it on Azula's hot forehead. "Hang on, sweetie", she whispered as she took the prodigy's hand, "everything will be alright." Ursa didn't know whether she said it to reach Azula subconscious or to set her own mind at ease, or maybe even both. It was all she could do. Azula was on her own now, and it hurt her mother that she couldn't help her daughter.

_Azula moaned as she got back to her feet. Everything ached. She rubbed her eyes to get a clear view. Where was she? She didn't recognize the room and yet it looked so familiar. The colouration clearly indicated she was in the Fire Nation and the tapestries on the wall seemed to suggest the owners were quite wealthy. How did she get here? What was the use of this room? There was no furniture. Several colonnades connected the front side with the backside. In between the colonnades, in the centre of the room a carpet led the way to a staircase, as wide as the room itself, in the back. The platform at the other side of the stairs carried the only piece of furniture in the entire room: a chair, or rather a throne. Now she knew it. This was the throne room of the Fire Nation palace. Why didn't she recognize it? It did look a little different. There were no flames, and no Fire Lord for that matter. There was no one home at all. The throne was hers to take. All she had to do was walk up, light the fire and sit down. Unless of course, this was some kind of trap. Cautiously she proceeded, until she saw a figure. Someone was home after all. She narrowed her eyes to see who it was. It was a man chained up to the pillar next to the throne. She immediately recognized him: it was her father._

_The former Fire Lord looked up and smiled as he saw who was coming. "Azula", Ozai said, "Release me. Together we can take back our lands and build the world empire we always dreamt of. The key lies at your feet. Free me now and you shall be rewarded for your loyalty." Azula saw the key that lay at her feet. She looked at it, unsure whether she should pick it up or not._

"_Why bother?", a female voice emerged, "he can't bend anymore, he is of no use to you." The source of the voice appeared from behind the column that held Ozai. It was … Azula. The old Azula, with bangs and turned up hair. She was wearing the Fire Nation military uniform she wore when she chased the avatar through the Earth Kingdom. "He's a loose end. Ignore him and take the throne yourself."_

_Ozai's usually stoic face exploded with anger."How dare you … !"_

"_Do as you taught me?", military Azula interrupted him, "Hmm, I don't know, maybe you should ask yourself why you taught me so well." Ozai growled in defeat. "The throne is yours Azula", military Azula continued, "Take it! You know you want to." Azula ignored the key at her feet and proceeded towards the throne._

"_Don't Azula!" The former princess stopped. As she looked up she noticed her brother sitting on the throne. "You don't want to become Fire Lord", he said, "The responsibilities will bring you nothing but stress and unhappiness. You still have your entire life in front of you, do you really want to fill it with political and military duties. Think about it. It's not what you want, is it? You want to enjoy yourself. You want to be free. You have the opportunity, take it." Azula took a few steps backwards._

"_What gives him the right to decide for you?" A new Azula appeared on stage. This one was a complete mess: pale, dirty, extremely skinny, greasy hair that was terribly cut and wearing prisoner's rags. "He took away everything you ever longed for", prisoner Azula continued, "He was the one who ultimately caused your downfall, and how does he repay you? By throwing you in a gemstone prison cell. I'm sure you wanted that, not to mention all the freedom it offered." She laughed maniacally. Azula's expression tensed with anger. "Yeah, that's it", prisoner Azula continued, "Unleash all your fire! Wipe out this entire room and the throne will be yours. You will finally have what you want." The laughter returned, though this time it was more menacing._

_Azula took a fighting stance, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. "She's wrong, you know", her mother said, "Zuko did give you a chance to be happy. He sent you to me, and I would do everything to make you happy. You'll always have a home and a family with us." Azula relaxed again and hung her head in regret, maybe even shame._

"_You're lying", a little girl, Azula recognized as her younger self, said, "Zuko always got all the attention, all I ever got were lectures and scoldings! You never loved me, you loved him."_

"_You're confused, Azula", Ursa replied, "I always loved you. You just preferred to spend time with your father."_

"_Not true", young Azula yelled, "You hated me, you thought something was wrong with me, you thought I was a monster." _

_Azula froze. She didn't know what to do or who to believe anymore. Six different people had been trying to get into her head, three of which were actually herself. Couldn't they just shut up and let her make a decision on her own. Apparently not. A blue fire lit the fire beacons of the throne platform and military, prisoner and young Azula merged into a single 'Fire Lord Azula' right in front of the indecisive girl. "You can't trust them, Azula", Fire Lord Azula said, "Everybody in this room has betrayed you. Your father, your mother, Zuko and look behind the pillars." The female Fire Lord pointed to several figures hiding behind the columns. Azula turned around and recognized them. "Mai, Ty Lee", Fire Lord Azula continued, "Uncle Fatso, Lo and Li, the Dai Li, the servants, the guards. Trust is for fools Azula. Once you trust someone, they will abuse it and drop you like a brick. You have to show them who's in charge, you have to control them. It's the only reliable way. Never listen to anyone else, they should listen to you."_

_Azula hadn't said a word since she had arrived in the throne room. How could she? Someone else was talking all the time. She couldn't get a letter in between it. But not now. Something just wasn't right about the female Fire Lord, and she wasn't going to let her mess with her like her voices and hallucinations used to do. "How about you?", Azula asked timidly._

_The Fire Lord looked up puzzled. "What do you mean?", she asked._

_The Fire Lord's doubts juiced Azula's confidence. "You said everybody in this room has betrayed me", Azula replied, "That would mean, you have too."_

_Fire Lord Azula trembled. She never expected this to happen and desperately tried looking for a reply. It took her a while to realize that there was nothing to be unsure of. She knew the perfect reply. "What about you?", she said coldly._

Azula faintly coughed as she finally opened her eyes for the first time. She had been unconscious for about a day and a half, and all this time Ursa had been sitting at her side. Slowly the blurry outlines of her room became visible to the former princess. She rubbed her eyes to get a keener view. She saw her mother turn her face towards her. The woman seemed to smile faintly, but her expression reflected sadness. What did it mean? Azula tried to sit up and immediately got out of breath. "Shh, take it easy, honey", her mother calmed her down, "Here, have some clean water."

Ursa brought a full water bag to Azula's mouth. Within seconds the two litres of water in it had vanished. "M … more", Azula muttered faintly. It could barely be heard, but Ursa knew what she meant. She took a second water bag. She didn't expect that she would need it, but right now she was happy that she had decided to fill it. It didn't take Azula long to empty that one as well. Ursa turned towards the girl to ask her how she felt, but she was too late. Azula had fainted again.

Ursa looked down sadly once more. She hoped Azula would be alright as she removed the moist tatter from her forehead. If only she could do more than rewetting the cloth she had put on her forehead to keep her fever down. Once the wet rag was back in position, she left the room to refill the water bags. What kind of disease was this? The healers in the area had never seen anything like it. Could the illness be native to the Fire Nation? Or could it be bending related? Was she building up fire in her own body? There had to be someone who encountered it before. Maybe the old admiral that escorted Azula. He looked as if he had a lot of experience in life. If anyone knew what this was, it would be him. She walked out of the front door and looked for the persons that were guarding her house. Unfortunately she could only see some archers. There was not a trace of the admiral, but maybe they knew where he was. "Is there a problem, ma'am?", one of the archers asked as the Fire Lord's mother approached him.

Ursa nodded. "Could you ask admiral Jeong-Jeong to see me please?", she asked, "I need his help. It's about Azula."

"Right away, ma'am", the Yu Yan archer replied. Ursa thanked him and went back inside. She immediately went to check on her sick daughter whose state hadn't changed. She just lay down seemingly at peace, but underneath this peaceful appearance Azula was struggling for her life. Her blankets were soaked with her sweat. Ursa considered it would be best to change all bed-sheets, and while she was at it, her garments as well. The mother reckoned that her daughter would prefer to wake up in a relatively clean surrounding, rather than in a sticky swimming pool.

It wasn't until an hour later that admiral Jeong-Jeong arrived. "You summoned me, madam?", he said after Leo led him into Azula's bedroom.

"I did", Ursa replied in a sad tone, "It's Azula. She's been sick for nearly two days now, and no one seems to know what to do." As she said it she rewetted the cloth on Azula's forehead once more.

"I highly doubt that I'm the right person to ask, ma'am", Jeong-Jeong said, "I'm a soldier, not a healer."

"I'm aware of that, admiral. But none of the healers here know what to do. They say that there's nothing wrong with her physically and yet she's boiling with fever. I thought it might be a firebender disease and I was hoping you knew what it was. You've been around for a while, have you never seen anything like it? … Please admiral, I don't want to lose her again."

"Hmm …", the old admiral sank in thoughts, "I've never personally encountered it, but I have heard of a similar condition. I even think your son suffered from it once. It's extremely rare and it is indeed not a bodily disease, it's a spiritual one. If a firebender acts in a way that completely clashes with the image he has of himself, he creates a war between two inner fires, that both want to gain dominance over their victim. It's possible that it also occurs in the other nations, but the fever wouldn't be as extreme as with firebenders."

Guilt filled Ursa's face. Azula would never have fallen ill if she hadn't asked her to do chores in the garden. Why did she even suggest it? To see her daughter smile wasn't worth the risk of her death, even though she didn't know there was a risk at that time. "What can we do to solve it?", Ursa asked concerned.

"There's nothing we can do, I'm afraid", Jeong-Jeong replied with genuine regret, "You can assist her, but in the end, it's a battle she has to win on her own."

"Will she … you know, get out of it?" Ursa didn't want to ask this question, but she had to know. It was bad enough that she couldn't help her own daughter and the thought of losing her permanently only added up to her concern.

"I wish I could tell. Fire Lord Zuko survived, obviously, but I have heard of people succumbing to the fever. Firebenders can manage high temperatures quite a deal better than other people, but eventually the fever would take its toll. We'll have to hope she gets better before that moment comes. … However, as she is a very powerful firebender, I'd say she has more time than most people and when she does wake up, she'll finally be at peace with herself." The last comment only mildly set Ursa at ease. The fact that Azula could actually die kept haunting her. The girl had been through so much already, and now this. She still had her whole life in front of her, and after all these years, things finally started to look good for her. It wasn't fair.

"_Easy, Azula", the princess heard a familiar male voice say, "Don't push yourself. You've been through a lot lately." The girl yawned and slowly opened her eyes. Above her she saw the silhouette of her brother._

"_Zuko?", Azula muttered. The man nodded. It was indeed her brother, but there was something strange about his appearance. He looked different, as if something was missing, something essential. "Where's your scar?", Azula asked while pointing at Zuko's flawless skin._

"_This is who I am according to you, Azula", the boy answered, "I'm not the scarred one."_

_What did he mean by that? Azula stood up and looked around. She seemed to be on a small ship. She and her brother were the only ones on board. The vessel was floating in the open see and land was nowhere to be seen. Where were they? What were they doing here? Her attention turned to herself. She could feel something was wrong with her. A patch covered her right eye. What was the meaning of this? What was all of this about? "This isn't real, is it?", she questioned her brother._

"_It is to you", Zuko answered. He gently removed the patch revealing a scar much like Zuko's, except that it was on the other side._

_Once again, Zuko's cryptic answer didn't satisfie the princess. Azula's fingers reached towards her eye. She could feel the scaly surface of her scarred skin. She was the scarred one and now everyone could actually see it._

Azula woke up in shock. Her breath was heavy and fast. She immediately reached for her right eye to feel the smooth skin. It was still there, no scar, just good old Azula. "Easy Azula", she heard her mother's soft voice, much in the same way as she heard Zuko's in her dream, "Drink." Azula's mouth and lips wore sore because of the drought. As Ursa offered her daughter a filled water bag, she greedily emptied it. By the time the mother got the second bag, however, Azula had already fainted again.

"_You didn't really think, you could get rid of me that easily, did you", the unscarred Zuko said as Azula appeared on the ship once again._

_The princess shrugged. "What does it matter?", she said, "This is just a dream anyway."_

"_I wouldn't call this just a dream, Azula", Zuko riposted, "Your actions here will gravely affect the rest of your real life, or might even induce its end. Think of it as an alternate reality, a spirit world of your own, so to say."_

_Azula yawned. Such a lengthy explanation for a simple dream. "You spent too much time with Uncle Fatso", she replied. Zuko looked at her wryly. Azula didn't want to waste any more words on the affair, but she realized that it sounded a lot more serious than a simple dream. Should she be worried? What was she supposed to do? All she knew was that she was stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean. The how and why were a complete mystery. "Tell me, uncle Zuzu." Zuko pouted at the sound of it. "What happened in this alternate reality?"_

"_Well, to tell the long and the short of it", Zuko started, "father burned and banished you for disagreeing with him. I stood up for you and was exiled too."_

_Azula looked sceptic. "Since when do you stand up for me?", she asked._

"_Since I realized that's what a big brother is supposed to do", Zuko replied._

"_So, I'm in exile in the middle of the ocean, and the only company I've got is my brother who finally realized that he actually is my brother. … Swell." There was an obvious stroke of sarcasm in the princess' voice. A smirk of victory appeared on her face, as Zuko's expression clearly gave away that he go the message. "So …", Azula continued, "What do we do now?"_

"_Well", Zuko replied, "You either bring father the avatar and be the daughter he wants you to be, or you ignore father and go to mother, who will love you no matter what. The choice is completely yours. The ship will go wherever you want it to go, and it will arrive once you completely made up your mind. I'm only here to guide you. If you need some advice just ask me, and I'll try to help you as well as I can. … Whatever you do, though, always keep my past in mind. A bad choice could keep haunting you for the rest of your life."_

_Azula sank away in thoughts. Even though the choice would seem to be easy to every outsider. It tore Azula apart. In her entire life she had wanted nothing else than to please her father, especially since the fateful day that her mother betrayed her. But recently she had learned that her mother did care for her, as a person. Perhaps pleasing her father wasn't what she needed after all. But it didn't make sense, her father had taught her everything. He had made her strong, and he had told her that love and care were things for the weak._

"_Why the doubt, princess Azula?", a voice extremely similar to Fire Lord Ozai's emerged. The girl looked to her right to see who had just spoken to her. On her shoulder sat a small red dragon with a goatee. "Your father is only teaching you a lesson", the red dragon continued, "Once you'll have finished your mission, you'll be even stronger than you ever were before. You'll have your father's pride and respect. If you fail however, you'll be nothing more than a disgrace. You don't want to be a disgrace do you?"_

"_Don't listen to him, princess Azula", Ursa's voice said. On her left shoulder Azula saw a green dragon of about the same size as the red one. Since the red dragon spoke with her father's voice, the princess assumed it was safe to assume that the source of her mother's voice was this green dragon. "The path that the red dragon is offering, is not the one for you", she, or it, continued, "Go to your mother. She will always love you, no matter what your strength is. She will do everything to make you happy. Your father does not care for you, he only cares for your abilities."_

"_She doesn't know what she's talking about.", the red dragon replied, "Love and care, happiness, any kind of emotion, they are all a sign of weakness. You don't want to be weak, you're strong, you're a prodigy."_

_The green dragon sat up. "If strength implies not being able to be liked by anyone and to like anyone", she said, " If it implies you can't experience happiness or any other good feeling, then I would seriously consider being weak."_

"I'm sorry, Ursa" Healer Dai Fu could hardly bring himself to say the words, as it was one of the things he dreaded most about being a doctor. How does one tell a mother that her daughter is dying? In all these years of practice, he never found out. When he started he had hoped that he would never need it, but he soon found out how cruel life could really be.

The three words were enough to break Ursa down. She dug her head into her hands. "Are you sure?", she muttered.

Dai Fu sighed. Azula had been boiling for over ten days now. It surprised him that she managed to survive this long. Most persons would have died within a day or two with a temperature this high, and not even a strong firebender would be able to cope much longer than this. "The fever is taking its toll", the healer said, "It won't be long now, before her organs start failing and if she doesn't snap out of this fever soon, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about it. I'm sorry." Dai Fu thought it would be better if he let himself out. Ursa was clearly having a hard time and his presence would only get in her way.

Tears rolled over Ursa's cheeks as she stroked through her daughter's soaked hair. "Snap out of it, sweetie", she whispered, "I beg you." This was a nightmare. Why did this happen? Wasn't it bad enough that she was forced to leave her children behind five years ago? Did she have to lose one of them again? Like this out of all ways? When she was forced to leave all those years ago, she at least had the hope that her children could be happy, even though she wouldn't be there to witness it. Death was different. It was irreversible. No parent should ever experience the death of one of his children, certainly not at this premature age. Ursa wiped away her tears, though the effort was in vain. New tears instantly replaced the removed ones. Zuko had to know. He had a right to know. He clearly cared about his sister, otherwise he would never have sent her to this place. Jeong-Jeong had probably already messaged him that Azula was sick, but he had to know how serious it was. He had to come and see her as soon as possible. He's been through the same, he might be able to help her. And if he could not help her, he would at least get a decent chance to say goodbye. Ursa scanned Azula's desk to find a calligraphy set. She didn't want to leave the unconscious, she refused to see her as dying, girl if there was no need to, and luckily she did have a calligraphy set within reach. Ursa sat down at her daughter's desk and spread out a sheet of paper. Writing prove to be hard though, as her dropping tears constantly caused the ink to run. After crumpling up about a dozen attempts, she finally succeeded in writing a letter that was legible enough to send. Her tears had still blurred some of the characters, but none of these contained essential information, and Ursa had given up all hope of writing a letter without blurs.

"Mommy?", a tiny voice interrupted Ursa as she exited the room to send away the message. It was Tara. She was standing upright, using the doorpost as support. How did she get up here? Did she sneak up the stairs without Leo noticing. The girl's mother tried to smile at her, but only sadness could be seen on her face. "Is Zoowa be OK?", Tara asked sadly.

"I hope so, honey", Ursa replied, while tears kept rolling down her face. She knew how fond Tara had grown of her big sister. It would definitely come as a shock to her if Azula died, but the girl was still young. She'd get over it, eventually. "You can go in and talk to her if you like", she sobbed holding the door open for the little girl.

Tara slowly entered the room and crawled towards Azula's bed. After using the bed to help her stand up, she climbed on it and crawled next to Azula. "Be OK soon, Zoowa", she said crying softly, "Pwease. I yove you." She cuddled up to her big sister, not bothered by the high temperature nor the sweaty sheets.

"_I've noticed we're closer to land than we've ever been before", the unscarred Zuko said, "Have you finally made up your mind, Azula?"_

"_I think so", the scarred girl replied._

"_You'll have to be absolutely sure if you ever want to arrive, Azula", her brother replied, "Make up your mind, and please be quick. As you can see the ship is rusting quite heavily, I don't know how much longer it will float."_

* * *

**In a way I have the feeling that this last dream conversation robs some of the drama of the chapter away, but somehow I feel that it has to be there.  
**


	10. Chapter 10 The Visitors

**Finally, this one was quite hard to write for some odd reason (I hate first sentences, why are they so hard to come up with), but here it is. I came across the problem that both flashbacks and dreams were written in italics, hence I had to find a way to do a dream in a flashback (bold italics). I added the name captain Jee, I'll leave it to your imagination, whether he is Zuko's former lieutenant or not. Someone also told me that my title was a dutchissism (thank you for that), hence I corrected it. Enjoy.  
**

**Previously: Azula has fallen ill and her condition has become critical. Ursa asked Zuko to come hoping he could help, and if not, at least to give him a decent chance to say goodbye.**

* * *

Chapter 10 The Visitors

"Fire Lord Zuko", the messenger of Kyoshi Island approached the young Fire Lord, "This message has arrived for you tonight, sir."

Zuko yawned something that sounded like 'thanks' as he accepted the piece of paper. He rubbed his eyes and yawned again. His night had been tumultuous, to say the least. Three times had bad dreams woken him up, all of which were about Azula. The sages had often told him about the predictive properties of dreams and he didn't like this omen at all. It gave him the impression that something bad was going to happen to his little sister.

"Finally awake, huh?", a young female voice interrupted him as he wanted to remove the black ribbon from the message.

The Fire Lord turned around to see his bodyguard. "What do you mean, 'finally'?", Zuko asked annoyed, "The sun's barely gone up."

Toph shrugged. "I wouldn't know", she said waving her hand in front of her pale eyes, "blind, you know." Zuko ignored her as he unrolled and read the letter. "Is something wrong?", Toph asked as she noticed irregularities in the Fire Lord's breath and heartbeat.

"Read for yourself", Zuko replied in a sad tone.

"Err … I'll take that as a yes", the young bodyguard replied, "As I don think you ever forgot I was blind twice in a row." There was a slight tone of reproach in her voice, even though she tried to hide it. She usually found it funny if people 'accidentally' forgot that she was blind. This only counted for the first time though, a second time was something she considered as plain stupidity. Nevertheless she did slightly understand it this time. The letter, whatever was in it, had clearly touched Zuko and she didn't want to hurt her friend more than was necessary.

"I'm sorry", Zuko apologized, "It's a letter from my mother. … Azula …" Zuko took a deep breath while bending his head down into his hands. "She … she … she's dying, Toph."

"Who is?", a confused Toph asked, "Azula or your mother?"

"Azula", Zuko replied, "mom asks me to come as soon as possible." He pulled himself together. "Which is exactly what we're going to do. Could you ask captain Jee to prepare a small vessel. I'll inform Mai and Chief Oyaji of our sudden departure."

Informing Mai had been easier than Zuko expected. Perhaps she had finally acquiesced in the fact that the Fire Lord did care deeply for his sister. She didn't feel like seeing Azula though. It was too soon for her to forget about the former princess's actions. Hence it didn't surprise Zuko that his girlfriend didn't want to join him. He wasn't too sure about the village chief though. When he first arrived Oyaji wasn't too keen on seeing him; something Zuko could easily understand as he was the person who burnt his village down. Sokka and Suki had eventually managed to persuade the old man of his good intentions, but the man's distrust never really disappeared.

"Good morning, Fire Lord Zuko", village chief Oyaji greeted the scarred boy as he entered the council room.

"Chief Oyaji", Zuko greeted nervously, "I apologize for dropping by unnoticed, but I just received a letter from my mother. My sister is critically ill and I'd like to see her as soon as possible. I know I had agreed to stay longer, but this really is an emergency. My men will keep on working and I …"

"Don't worry, Fire Lord", the old man calmed down the rattling Zuko, "You have personally helped rebuilding the village, something I doubt another king would ever do, and for that you have earned my respect. I can see now, why Sokka, Suki and Ty Lee have such great faith in you. I understand that you have to go and I know you would have stayed, if the circumstances were better."

"Thank you", Zuko replied, "Send my regards to Sokka, Suki and Ty Lee."

"I will, I hope your sister will be alright", the old man said as the Fire Lord left the room.

By the time Zuko arrived at the docks, his ship was already ready for departure. Noticing how Toph was impatiently tapping her foot at the gangway, he quickly boarded. Bandao wasn't too far away from Kyoshi Island, the journey would probably take about a day. Nevertheless the Fire Lord knew that it was essential that they left as soon as possible, if he wanted to see his sister again, but before he got the chance to give the order to leave, he was interrupted by an all too familiar female voice. "Wait", she yelled, "I want to come with you." Zuko cursed between his teeth. Did Ty Lee really have to come? It wasn't that he didn't like her, he did, but right now her cheeriness was the last thing he needed. Nevertheless, the acrobat had been Azula's best friend for who knew how long and they hadn't seen each other since that fateful day at the Boiling Rock. It would only be fair to let her join, no matter how annoying she could be.

It was a drizzly morning when the Fire Lord's ship arrived at the Bandao peninsula. The weather was a perfect reflection of his mood, despite the fact that he would finally see his mother back. He had longed for this to happen for over five years now, and now that he finally was, the only thing Zuko was feeling was sadness. He only wanted to help Azula. He thought it was what she needed. He didn't want his little sister to die. A sigh filled with melancholy escaped the Fire Lord's mouth as he, Toph and their unexpected guest descended the ship. All of them were wearing casual, informal garments. Zuko didn't even wear his royal headpiece. This was a family visit after all. Political symbols wouldn't be at their place on an occasion like this.

The road was long and, thanks to the constant chattering of Ty Lee, extremely annoying. Despite Toph's often hard-handed, or rather hard-elbowed, shushes, she just wouldn't stop talking. Even worse was the fact that the name 'Azula' escaped her lips every few moments, as if there was nothing else she could talk about. It more than once gave Zuko, who tried to ignore her as much as he possibly could, the desire to kill her or at least rip her tongue out. How could she even keep talking? No one was replying. Did she like the sound of her own voice that much? Even though he had managed to control his anger outbursts since the war was over, the Fire Lord could feel that his nerves weren't going to put up with the girl's tattling for much longer. His snarls didn't seem to have any effect and neither did his glares. She just kept going. The drizzly rain no longer reached Zuko. Instead a vaporous aura could be seen surrounding the scarred Fire Lord, but not even this seemed to stop her. "Look", Zuko bluntly interrupted her, "I just found out my sister might be dying. What makes you think I even want to talk about that?"

Ty Lee immediately shut up, upon hearing the Fire Lord's angry reaction. She curled her lower lip down as if ready to cry, but she wouldn't go that far. "I … I'm sorry, Zuko", she whispered apologetically, "I didn't know."

"Well, get your facts straight!", Zuko yelled, turning most of the rain to steam.

The acrobat really did burst into tears this time. "I said I was sorry, OK?", she cried.

The Fire Lord hated it when she started crying. It was the perfect way to make people feel bad about their actions. Even Azula wasn't immune to it. But maybe he really had been a little harsh on her. Ty Lee wasn't aware of having done any wrong, that was just who she was. "I know", a calmed down Zuko whispered, "So am I, it's just that … I'm going through a hard time."

"I'm sure she'll be alright, Zuko", Ty Lee tried to comfort the Fire Lord. She was hardly the person to let ill-feelings towards anyone consume her, even if she was treated unjustly. "You know Azula."

"Yeah", Toph agreed, "You know what they say: ill weeds grow apace."

"I hope so", the melancholic Fire Lord replied. The rest of the trip was relatively quiet. Ty Lee seemed to have come to an understanding about the severity of Azula's condition and the unwillingness of her companions to talk about it, something both Zuko and his young bodyguard appreciated. It was in fact the Fire Lord himself who first broke the silence, when his mother's house had finally come into view. "Could you two wait here for now?", he asked, "I'd like to talk to my mother alone, first." The drizzling had already stopped a couple of minutes earlier, and even though the sky remained filled with grey clouds, the two girls agreed. Slowly the scarred young man walked towards the house. He would finally see is mother back, after all these years. If only the circumstances would have been better. He took a deep breath as he raised his right fist to knock on the door. He had to do this, no matter how hard, it was his duty. There was no use in tormenting himself by doing nothing. The sooner he knocked, the sooner his uncertainties would fade away, whether the news was good or bad. Three steady knocks landed on the wooden plank. The five seconds of silence that followed were the longest Zuko had ever experienced. His heartbeat had probably doubled by the time he heard the sound of an opening door in the distance, followed by approaching footsteps. The front door slowly opened and revealed a female stature carrying a little girl. Zuko's eyes and mouth fell wide open in shock. This was the last thing he expected to see.

"Who he, Zoowa?", the little girl asked the former princess of the Fire Nation.

"That's our big brother Zuko, Tara", Azula replied and smiled at the little girl. The gesture shocked Zuko even more. Who was this Azula look-alike? Surely it couldn't be his sister.

"He odd face", the girl, whose name was apparently Tara, dryly remarked. Zuko immediately pouted and Azula couldn't help but chuckle. The look on his face was exactly why she wanted to open the door, while carrying her little sister. She knew the Fire Lord's expression would be divine if he saw her with a little kid in her arms, and thanks to Tara's remark, his reaction was even better than what she had hoped for.

"What's so funny?", Zuko asked in dismay.

"Nothing", Azula replied with a fake innocence in her voice, "It's just that, when she first met me, she said I was beautiful." Pride filled the girl's voice and eyes.

"I see …", the Fire Lord said, "I'm really happy to see you're alright, Azula." He smiled and a small tear rolled over his right cheek. He had done the right thing after all. Azula put down their little sister, and before Zuko could say any more, she locked him in a tight embrace. The princess didn't really know what she was doing, or even why she was doing it. It was just an instinctive reaction. She thought it was what she was supposed to do and her brother eagerly returned the hug. "I'm a bit surprised too though", Zuko continued once they had loosened their grip on each other. Azula rolled her eyes. His reaction when she opened the door had already made that all too obvious, and telling that he was a bit surprised was an understatement, to say the least. "I thought you were critically ill, but here you are, safe and sound, still as skinny as the day I sent you, b…"

"Hey! Give me a break, will you", an annoyed Azula interrupted.

"But", the Fire Lord continued, "healthy nonetheless. Mom's letter wasn't a trick to get me here early, was it? It sure looked serious, with the tear marks and mom's handwriting being less refined than I remember."

"It was serious", a middle-aged woman's voice appeared. Zuko hadn't heard it in many years, but the sweet and soft sound of it had never left his memory. "Hello darling", Ursa said.

Like a little boy who had just finished his first day of school, the Fire Lord leapt towards his mother and wrapped his arms around her. "I missed you, mom", Zuko said, while crying in his mother's shoulder.

"I missed you too, honey", Ursa replied unable to hold back her tears, "You've grown into such a fine young man. I mean, look at you." The woman grabbed her son's shoulders and stretched out her arms taking a step backwards. Zuko smiled, though his eyes were still wet. Sadness, and maybe even anger, filled the mother's expression once she noticed the Fire Lord's left eye. Ursa took her right hand off Zuko's shoulder and reached for the scaly surface of his scarred skin. "What happened?", she asked even though she could easily guess what, or rather who, had caused the burn.

"Just dad being dad", Zuko replied. Anger was written all over Ursa's face. "Don't worry, he got what he deserved and I've grown used to the scar by now. It's nothing compared to what he did to Azula, it helped me realize what kind of a man he really was, albeit with some delay."

"I'm proud of you … both of you", Ursa stated, "You had to endure so much, if only I could have been there to help you."

"I know, mom", Zuko replied, "So how have you been?"

"Pretty good, considering the circumstances", Ursa said, "There were only two things missing from my life and both of them are standing right next to me now." She smiled and embraced her two royal children, only to be interrupted by the protests of the jealous little girl next to her. Ursa immediately squatted down and took her youngest scion in her arms. "I'll never let anyone take any of you away from me again." The remark put a smile on both Zuko's and Azula's faces. "Maybe we could discuss further matters inside", their mother suggested.

"Just a minute, mom", Zuko replied, "That would be kind of rude towards my companions." He pointed at the two girls he had left to wait about twenty paces behind him. "I've brought someone to see you, Azula", he said to his sister, "She insisted." The princess held her head oblique in confusion. Who would want to see her? Zuko turned around and motioned and yelled for the two girls to come. "I'd like you to meet Toph", he said to his family as the blind girl arrived, "She's my bodyguard."

Ursa watched the blind girl sceptically. "Isn't she a bit sm…"

"Believe me", Zuko interrupted her, "She's the best bodyguard, someone could wish for. … And I suppose you both know T…"

"Azula!", Ty Lee exclaimed while wrapping herself around the former Fire Nation princess in a strangling hug. "It's so good to see you again. How have you been? I thought you were dying." The acrobat was as happy and energetic as she always had been. Her excited chattering didn't even allow for a single breath to be taken in between.

"Well", Azula muttered, "If you don't loosen your grip, I still might." Ty Lee's hug was indeed too tight for comfort, but the princess was more than happy to see her former best friend again and to learn that she actually wanted to see her again too.

"Oh", Ty Lee said while immediately loosening her grip, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be", Azula replied, "I should be sorry. I never treated you like a friend."

"It's OK, Azula", the acrobat reassured her, "So … what happened? I heard you were sick, but you look alright."

"She woke up yesterday, but let's discuss these matters inside", Ursa interrupted, "It's a bit chilly out here, don't you think?"

_**A sudden heavy shock, accompanied by a loud peal, sent scarred Azula flying towards the nose of the ship. Using the balustrades she had just slammed into, she got back to her feet. "What was that!?", she asked, but no one answered. "Zuko?" No reaction. What was going on here? Just a moment ago, she had been talking to unscarred Zuko, and now he was nowhere to be seen. Where could he have gone? Would the shock have thrown him overboard? She bent over the balustrade and looked down. Surprisingly enough she did not see water, all she saw was sand. Sand surrounded the entire ship for miles, as if the entire ocean had suddenly dried out. She jumped off board to find her brother. He had to tell her what the next step was. She had finally reached land, but there was nothing here. This was nothing but a huge desert. There had to be more. What was the meaning of this? The ship disappeared the moment she had left it, but there was still no sign of the unscarred Zuko. He seemed to have vanished. "Zuko?", scarred Azula yelled in panic, "Where are you?"**_

"_**You don't need him anymore", a voice emerged behind her, "He only accompanied you to guide you through the choosing process, but now you have made your choice." The voice was right, she had indeed made her choice. Slowly, scarred Azula turned around to see her mother. "I'm proud of you, honey", she said, "You chose for a life of love and happiness, and I'll do anything to give it to you." Ursa opened her arms towards her daughter. "I love you, Azula." A tingling feeling filled the right half of scarred Azula's face. When she reached for it, the scar was gone. She leapt towards her mother, who closed her arms around her. Returning the hug, she said: …**_

"_I love you too, mom", Azula said as she opened her eyes. Sparks of hope immediately banished Ursa's sadness, and instinctively she took her daughter's temperature. The fever was gone. She couldn't believe it. Could it be true? Was the nightmare over? She pulled her right hand away from Azula's forehead and lay her left hand on it instead, but she wasn't mistaking. Azula's temperature had gone back to normal. Crying tears of joy, she wrapped her arms around her daughter. The nightmare was over. After ten long days and being on the verge of death, Azula had left the battlefield victorious._

"When healer Dai Fu arrived that same day", Ursa told on, "He confirmed that she was cured. Nevertheless he gave me the advice to keep her in bed for the rest of the day, to let her body recover from the illness and resume its normal functions. Right now, the only inconvenience left is that her stomach needs to slowly habituate to bigger meals again. She'll be as good as new within a week, I think. Won't you, honey?" Azula smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that", Zuko responded, smiling faintly. He took a sip from the tea his mother had served her guests. "Maybe we should proceed to the official matters", the Fire Lord continued, "I know the initial idea was to let mom persuade me of Azula's mental progress, but I think I've seen enough."

Azula instantly turned towards her brother. Her smile turned into a worried look. Did this mean he was going to lock her up again? He couldn't do that. She had done so much, been through so much, to regain her mental health. She was cured, she had even changed. Couldn't he see that? It wasn't fair. She didn't want to go back to her cell. "You have to give mom a chance", the former princess raised her voice, "You have to give me a chance. I have made so much progress, she knows I have. You have to listen to her."

Zuko hadn't expected this reply at all, but in a way it amused him. He slowly shook his head and continued talking in a gentle monotone voice. "No Azula", he said trying to show no emotions, "I've made my decision."

Azula couldn't believe it. She wouldn't even get a chance to defend herself. Even worse was the fact that her mother didn't react at all upon hearing Zuko's words. The only thing Ursa did, was put her hand on Azula's shoulder to calm her down. Didn't she know what was best for her daughter? Didn't she love her, after all? She couldn't believe it, but what else could it be. "I will not go back to jail", Azula said coldly.

"Why would you go back to jail?", Zuko asked. Azula looked puzzled. What else could he have in mind for her? "I just said I had made my decision, … and my decision is that you have earned your pardon." Azula turned bright red and looked away in embarrassment. How could she have jumped to the wrong conclusion so fast. According to the others' reaction it was quite obvious and yet she managed to think otherwise. What happened to her knowledge of human nature? What happened to her knowledge of Zuko's nature? Shame didn't permit her to say any more. Zuko smirked as he looked for a piece of paper in his shirt. He was hardly the person to pull someone's leg. He simply didn't have his uncle's sense of humour. But when a victim presented herself on a silver platter like this, he simply couldn't resist the urge. Nevertheless, there was a time for fun and a time for business, and the latter had just come. "Could I borrow some paper, a pen and a candle, mom?", Zuko asked.

"Of course", Ursa replied. She stood up and carried Tara over to her father. "Quill or brush?", she asked as she was browsing through a nearby closet.

"A quill will do", Zuko responded. A few moments later his mother arrived with a rolled up sheet of paper, a sharp quill, a pot of ink and a broad, red candle. The Fire Lord used his bending to light the candle and unfolded the paper. Drawn by the sound of the unfolding scroll, Azula attentively watched what her brother was doing. After repeatedly submerging the quill's tip in the ink, he swiftly started writing. It was too small for Azula to read, at least where she was sitting, but, judging by the lay-out her brother used, it probably was something official. The Fire Lord ended his writing with his signature at the bottom of the document. Once this was done he dripped some drops of molten candle wax on the lower left corner of the piece of paper and stamped it with his seal ring. He then turned towards his sister. "Even though you obviously still have some trust issues, …" Azula's face turned red once again. "… which I'm sure will lessen in due time, I'm really impressed with the progress you have made. Hence, as promised, you are free. However, I'd prefer it, if you didn't get yourself involved in any kind of political or military responsibility until you reach adulthood. I know we're losing one of the most brilliant strategists, but you need to enjoy your youth, and it's not like we'll need you in these days of peace." He handed the official document over to his sister.

Azula took the piece of paper and started reading it. "I, Fire Lord Zuko", she quietly read out, "Hereby exonerate Azula, daughter of Ursa and former Fire Lord Ozai, from all crimes committed during the reign of aforementioned Fire Lord and reinstate her rights as a Fire Nation civilian and princess, blablablabla …" Azula didn't know what to say. She was actually free, and it was official. She had a feeling that she should shout it in happiness, but she was too timid to do so. The look on her face spoke volumes though.

"I still don't get why you thought I'd send you back to jail though", Zuko asked confused, "You didn't break any laws during your stay here, did you?" Both Azula and Ursa shook their heads. Zuko nodded in approval.

Azula was confused. "Are … are you saying that you would have pardoned me anyhow?", she asked.

"I never said that", Zuko replied, "Our deal was that you were to stay with mom as long as you needed. If your mental headway hadn't been sufficient, you would just have to stay under mom's custody a bit longer." Azula seemed to understand. "It's unlike you to misinterpret anything, Azula, but then again, you were hardly in a healthy state of mind at the time. … Nothing of that matters anymore, though, you're free to go wherever you want. Your room in the palace will always be yours, if you want it, though I'm sure mom would love it, if you stayed here. The choice is completely yours, **princess** Azula."

Azula looked at her mother. Ursa smiled. She wanted her daughter to stay more than anything else. The same counted for Zuko, but she knew he held responsibilities towards the Fire Nation and hence could never move in with them. Nevertheless she was proud of him, for he helped return balance to the world and restored the Fire Nation's crooked image. The reinstated princess turned her head to look at her little sister. The girl truly adored and looked up to her big sister, and Azula enjoyed the exemplary role she held towards her. Tara gave her chances no one else would have given her. Leo, lastly, was the person with whom she had had the least interaction during her stay here, but he did seem to appreciate her. He came to understand that the Fire Nation princess wasn't as rotten as the world thought she was. This truly had become her family, a simple family of commoners. A year ago she wouldn't have believed it herself. "I think I'll stay here", Azula said, "This is my home now. Thank you, your lordship."

"Don't call me that!", Zuko riposted frustrated, "You're my sister."

"Why can't I?", Azula replied, "Doesn't his lordship like being called 'your lordship', your lordship." Azula's timidity had completely vanished. Her smile clearly indicated she was enjoying herself now.

"Nevermind", Zuko pouted in defeat, "I'm sure you made the right decision. I would have done the same thing, if I actually could. … There's one more thing I need to tell. I'm organizing a banquet in about a month. I hope you'll weigh at least a picul by that time, Azula." Azula immediately sent her brother a glare. Ursa couldn't help but smile at her children's pun-throwing. Zuko and Azula finally acted like true siblings again and it filled her heart with happiness. "Most guests will be commoners, people who helped me during my time in exile. Uncle Iroh, the Avatar and my other friends will be there too, and of course you're all invited as well. The invitations will be sent once I'm home."

"It'll be our honour to attend", Ursa said, "And maybe our families could spend summer together too? Our old beach house at Ember Island is definitely big enough."

"That's a great idea", Zuko replied enthusiastically, "I'll have the beach house renovated as soon as possible. I'll be looking forward to all of our family holidays. … I'm afraid I'll have to leave now though. I still have some duties at Kyoshi Island." All persons present stood up. The Fire Lord hugged his sister, "I'm delighted to see you're happy, Azula, I hope you'll never have to go through any of the things you went through again", and his mother, "I can't even begin to tell you how good it felt to see you again, mom, I hope to see you again soon."

Ursa returned the hug. "Same here, Zuko", she said, "And if you ever want to visit us, there will always be a room in our house especially for you."

Zuko smiled as he let her go and headed for Leo. "Nice to have met you, Leo", he said while shaking his stepfather's hand, "And my lovely little sister of course." He petted the girl's head tangling her hair.

"The pleasure was all mine, your lordship", the man replied.

"Please", Zuko corrected him, "Just call me Zuko. After all, you are my stepfather." The man nodded and smiled.

Ursa led her three guests to the exit. "It was nice to have met you, Toph, and it was good to see you again, Ty Lee. Have a safe trip back home. I hope we'll meet again soon."

"Thanks", the threesome replied, "Bye bye." Ursa waved at them as they left and the gesture was returned by the Fire Lord and his friends, especially by Ty Lee, who moved her arm a lot more passionately than her companions.

"Now **that**", Toph suddenly exclaimed as they were walking back to their ship, "was a life-changing fieldtrip.

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**It's almost over now. Only one more chapter. Ideas, opinions, etcetera -- you know the drill  
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	11. Chapter 11 The Final Showdown

**Previously: When Zuko came to visit the sick Azula, he noticed she had not only physically, but also mentally recovered. The princess was pardoned for her crimes and decided she wanted to stay with her mother. The Fire Lord accepted her decision and invited his family for a banquet he would organize a month later.**

**Initially meant as an epilogue this chapter has become quite an extensive piece of writing in itself. I hope I'm giving a good image of redeemed Azula, because that's what I tried to do. Recently edited for spelling errors.  
**

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Chapter 11 The Final Showdown

"The Avatar and his friends, your uncle Iroh, Jin, Pao, Chief Oyaji and a couple of Kyoshi warriors, including Ty Lee, Song and her family, Lee and his family, your mother … and her family", Mai read out the banquet's guest list in her usual bored tone.

"I'm not too sure I like the sound of that last part", Zuko remarked. To the untrained ear Mai's voice was always the same, except if she really got agitated, which rarely ever happened. The Fire Lord however had learnt to interpret to most subtle changes in his girlfriend voice and her mentioning of his mother's family clearly held an edge of discontent.

"Well I'm not too sure I like the sound of this guest list", Mai riposted, "How could you pardon her, Zuko?" She accepted Zuko cared for his sister, but this had been one step too far in her opinion. Azula had done some terrible things in the last five years of her life, even to her so-called friends and to her own brother, more than most people have done in their entire lifetime. She couldn't just forget about that and knowing she'd have to dine with her at the same table didn't make her feel comfortable at all.

"She earned it, Mai", Zuko replied, "She's not the tool our father moulded her into anymore, she changed. If you had come with me, you would have seen it."

"You seem to forget something", Mai protested, "She's always been a master of manipulation. She could very well have been playing you."

"No, she couldn't." Zuko's voice was stern and confident. While he was the one who usually had to go to the wall in an argument with Mai, he wasn't willing to lose this one. "Her pride would never let her act like that. She genuinely changed. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"I wonder", Mai sarcastically whispered, "I can live with the fact that a lot of the people you invited are good-looking girls of your age, but if Azula is coming, I won't attend. I'll just have to trust you to behave yourself."

"You will attend, Mai", Zuko angrily replied, "Even if it means that I'll have to drag you in and chain you to your chair. You need this as much as she does." Mai was surprised. The Fire Lord had never refused her anything. She easily won every argument they got into. Why not this one? Was he really that fixated on making her see Azula? The knife-thrower murmured some curses in defeat. If he really wanted her to see Azula, she would, but it wouldn't be willingly. Zuko sighed in relief. That part was over, now he had to figure out a way to get Mai and Azula to talk to each other. He knew he couldn't force his girlfriend to talk. He couldn't even force her to look at his sister. He already considered it quite an achievement that he actually managed to persuade Mai to attend the banquet, but getting them to talk was several levels of difficulty beyond that. How would he realize that? Three knocks on the door interrupted his thoughts. "Yes?", he responded.

The door slowly opened and Lin's face showed up. "Pardon me, your lordship", the servant girl said, "But your mother, sister and their family have arrived."

"What? Already?", Zuko's eyes were wide open in shock, "But the banquet only starts in a couple of hours." The Fire Lord panicked. What did he have to do now? He still had to find a way to get Mai to reconcile with Azula. His family coming early was … exactly what he needed. He pulled himself together. This was a blessing. How did they know they were needed? "Bring them in, Lin", the Fire Lord said firmly, "I'd like them to meet Mai." The knife-thrower gave Zuko an angry glare, but he ignored it. She had no choice on this matter.

"Yes sir", Lin replied as she left the room to fetch the guests. Silence filled the next couple of minutes in the Fire Lord's private quarters. Mai didn't feel like saying anything anymore, now that she knew Azula had arrived and Zuko knew his girlfriend well enough not to bother her unnecessarily on a moment like this.

Once the door opened, adrenaline pumped through the excited Fire Lord's veins. He smiled as he would finally see his family again. That month had been way too long, and way too busy. "You don't mind we're early, do you honey?", Ursa asked as she stood in the door opening, "Azula managed to persuade the engineers to use firebending to give the airship extra propulsion. She even helped them. It gained us quite some time." Mai looked up. Did Azula actually help someone? It couldn't be. Ursa had to be mistaking or, if she wasn't, Azula had to have some ulterior motive. But what could it possibly be? What else could she gain apart from time.

"Of course I don't mind", Zuko replied while hugging his mother, "I missed you, mom."

"I missed you too, honey", Ursa said returning the hug. Leo and Azula, carrying Tara, entered the room. Mai couldn't believe her eyes. Was that Azula carrying a child? It couldn't be hers of course, the little girl was too old, however they sure seemed to enjoy each other. And was Azula actually smiling? Not that Mai had never seen Azula smile, she just had never seen her smile like that. Her smile had always been a sign of cunningness or malice, but now it seemed to suggest happiness, even sweetness. Could she truly have changed or had her acting improved even more. "Quite an interesting way of travelling, by airship", Ursa continued, "A lot faster than by boat."

Zuko nodded. "At first they were used for warfare", he said, "But now that the war is over, we found a new use for them. It's a very efficient way of travelling. Quite cheap. A good thing too, since the war hasn't done our economy much good. … Anyway, maybe I should introduce you first. I'm sure you recognize Mai, mom."

"Hi Mai", Ursa greeted her son's girlfriend and hugged her.

"Lady Ursa", Mai replied while returning the hug.

"Oh come on", Ursa said, "No need for the formalities. Ursa will do. You look great." Mai smiled. For as long as she could remember Ursa had always been the kind of person to make someone feel at ease. She was a very nice person and a caring parent. Mai never really understood how she ended up with someone like Ozai, but then again arranged marriages were more than usual in noble circles.

"Mai", Zuko tried to get his girlfriend's attention, "I'd like to introduce my stepfather Leo to you." Both Mai and Leo bowed politely. "The little girl is my half-sister Tara, and you already know Azula."

Azula handed her little sister over to her mother and headed towards her former friend. Mai stopped her and gave her an icy glare. "Mai, I …", Azula started timidly, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not", Mai replied, "I'm not sorry for any of the things I did, back at the Boiling Rock. You would have let them kill your own brother. How could you? … I'm not sorry for helping him escape and I wouldn't think twice to do it again, no matter what the consequences were."

"Good", Azula replied, "You shouldn't." Once again, the Fire Nation princess had managed to surprise her former friend. Mai had never expected this reply. "You made sure I didn't make one of the biggest and most irreversible mistakes of my life", Azula continued, "I didn't realize it at the time, but you did me a favour with your betrayal. I should have thanked you, but instead I threw you in prison, I would even have executed you if it wasn't for Ty Lee. I know now that I was the one who betrayed you, not the other way around. I was a awful friend and person, and I'm really sorry for it. I wish I could somehow make it up to you." Tears rolled over the girl's cheeks.

Mai was confused. She had never seen Azula act like this. Maybe Zuko was right, maybe she truly had changed, but that didn't change what she had done. She swallowed. "You might have changed", the Fire Lord's girlfriend started, "You might be sorry for what you did, but it's not that simple. I can't forgive you, not yet. I'll accept you as a guest, as the Fire Lord's sister and if you truly have changed, time might heal the old wounds some day, but I can't say when."

"Thanks", Azula replied, "That means a lot to me." Mai looked at her confused. Who was this Azula look-alike? She didn't get what she want and yet she was grateful. Her thoughts were interrupted as, apparently, Azula wrapped her arms around her. A part of Mai wanted to protest, but the confusion was too much for her. She just stood there, immobile, not returning the hug, but not fighting it either, until the reinstated princess let her go a couple of seconds later.

"Right", Zuko said noticing Mai and Azula had finished talking, "Take a seat. I'll call for some tea and for the time being we could catch up with each other."

"No wait Zuko", Azula interrupted, "I need to ask you a favour … in private."

"Err sure", the Fire Lord replied confused, "The rest of you, take a seat, tea will be served in a moment." The two siblings left the room and headed for the Fire Lord's study. Before entering the room, the scarred young man asked a servant that happened to cross their path to bring Mai and the guests some tea. The man nodded and bowed before his boss. "So … what do you need to ask me, Azula?", Zuko asked as they entered the study.

"I want to face dad", his sister replied.

The Fire Lord looked doubtful. "Are you sure?", he asked.

"I need to do this, Zuko", Azula answered self-assured.

"I understand, Azula", Zuko sighed, "It's just that … The fact is … I've been sick too, you know, same disease you had but less long. When I woke up I had changed, I didn't care for father's approval anymore. I was happy to live a peasant's life with uncle Iroh in Ba Sing Se. Nevertheless, you managed to persuade me to join you. You managed to reverse the transformation I underwent, and I'm afraid our father might have the same effect on you."

"He's in jail, Dumdum", Azula replied slightly annoyed, "What could he possibly bribe me with? He doesn't have anything I want. I just need to face him."

Zuko took a deep breath. "Fine then", he said slightly against his will, "I'll get Toph. I hope she's still training in the courtyard."

"Why do we need her?", Azula asked slightly indignant.

"It's just a safety measure", Zuko said as he left the study, "She's the only one who can see through walls and can immobilize you, in case you decide to do something you would later regret." Realizing that it wouldn't do her any harm, Azula assented to the blind earthbender's presence. Luckily Toph was indeed training at the courtyard, as the Fire Lord had hoped. Even though her fieldtrip with Zuko had ended, the blind bandit never left the palace. She seemed to like her life there, and it couldn't be denied that the girl really made things lively at the otherwise rather dull court. On top of that she and Zuko had really created a strong, almost brotherly, bond. Hence the Fire Lord had decided to offer the young earthbender a permanent position as his bodyguard, which she eagerly accepted. It wasn't hard for the royal siblings to persuade the blind bandit to join them on their little trip to prison. She didn't have anything better to do anyway.

The depressing atmosphere was the first thing the threesome, even Toph, noticed as they entered the world's most loathed hotel. The prison tower was cold and dark. Moaning and yelling from both prisoners and guards could be heard in the distance. Everything about this dreadful place was pretty much the way Azula remembered it. "It's become quite a deal more quiet, since I let you out", Zuko told her.

Azula looked at her brother in disbelief. The building was still quite uproarious. Was she really that bad? "How did your friends react on my release?", she asked, "Surely they weren't OK with it."

"Not really", the Fire Lord replied, "I didn't tell them until some time after I sent you away. I met Aang and Katara in Ba Sing Se, I suppose they told the others. Neither of them felt much for the idea, obviously, calling it a ridiculous risk, but at least Aang said he trusted my judgment once I had explained my plan. Nevertheless he would keep a close eye on Bandao, even after I pardoned you."

Azula nodded. "I did see his bison fly over quite a few times", she said.

"Katara was a different story, though", Zuko continued, "She kept repeating that sending you to mom was not what she had meant, when she told me that you needed to see her to get better. I knew it wasn't what she had meant when I met up with her, but it was the only possible way to actually help you. It took me a while to persuade her, but eventually she said that if I got a 749th chance, I don't remember the exact number, then it would only be fair to give you a second chance."

Azula snorted. "I think the actual number was higher", Toph interrupted. Both girls laughed.

"Shut up, you two!", the annoyed Fire Lord ordered, "We've arrived at my father's cell." The laughter immediately stopped. Zuko turned towards his sister. "He's all yours now", he said, "Don't let him get into your head."

The girl nodded. She looked into the cell through the hatch. The Phoenix King was sitting, or rather laying, or maybe something in between, on the floor, with his back against the hind wall. His greasy hair was a total mess. It looked like a sparrowkeet's nest and hung partly in front of his face. It didn't hide his newly gained facial hair though. A moustache and beard had been given free play as if Ozai was some kind of castaway. The goatee could still easily be discerned, even though it was anything but well-kept. He looked pathetic, no where near the great man he once thought he was. Azula took a deep breath and entered the room. She was ready to face him. The princess didn't bother to close the hatch as she closed the door behind her, she didn't mind if Zuko and Toph heard what she said. The former Fire Lord looked up as he noticed someone enter the room. Much to his surprise it wasn't a guard. What he saw, was a girl in Earth Kingdom clothes. "Great", Ozai muttered, "A vindictive war victim. How did you get in here?"

"Hello father", Azula greeted the prisoner. Her voice was cold, as was the look on her face. She didn't want to show him any emotion at all. She wanted to know how he would react. What would he say? How would he say it? Would he try anything?

Ozai slightly pushed himself up against the wall and removed the hair hanging in front of his eyes. He watched the girl carefully and clearly recognized his daughter's face. He didn't know what to feel. The girl had failed him in so many ways. She couldn't manage the loss of her so-called friends. She failed to protect the homeland from her treacherous brother. Nevertheless she could be of good use. She obviously managed to escape and now she could help him get out of this place. She could get him back on his throne. He just had to play it right. "Azula", he greeted her back, "It's good to see you."

"Is it?", Azula replied, "I seem to remember you couldn't get rid of me fast enough on the day of the comet, the day of our greatest conquest. You used the façade of crowning me Fire Lord to get me out of your way. I can't believe I fell for it. Why would the homeland be so important if we would have the whole world?"

Ozai swallowed. Azula was thinking perfectly clear. He had to be cautious. "I made a mistake, I realize that now", he said, "and it cost us everything. But none of that matters now, my precious." Azula flinched at the sound of her old pet name. "You're here now, free", He continued, "Together we can take back what they took from us. We can rebuild it."

Azula smirked. Even in prison he was still trying to use her for his own gain. "What makes you think I even want to be involved with useless lowlife such as yourself", Azula riposted, "You ruined my life!"

Ozai stood up in rage. "You ungrateful minx", he yelled at her, "You'd be nothing if it wasn't for me. I taught you everything you know. I made you who you are now."

Azula's face contracted in an expression filled with hatred. He didn't make her, he destroyed her. "You gave me the worst possible life", she shouted back, "You hurt and abused me when you felt like it. You forced me to feel no emotions at all, using the false excuse that it would make me strong. You didn't do anything for me, you used me as a tool for your own personal gain, and all it did was turn me into an incarcerated, broken wreck. That is what you made. The girl you see in front of you, is my brother's and mother's work."

Ozai gritted his teeth, realizing his last chance of ever being free again, just faded away. She couldn't have completely changed however. There had to be a part of the old Azula somewhere in her mind. There still was one favour he could get her to do. He knew his daughter. He could easily trigger her mind into it. "I should have known you would turn out to be a failure from the moment you were born", he murmured, "I should have known all of your mother's descendants would be. It has always been a lineage of traitors." Azula immediately widened her stance. She moved her right hand up pointing her middle and index finger at her forehead. The Phoenix King knew very well what it meant. His plan had succeeded. His days in jail were over and with his final act he would get his revenge on all the people who betrayed him. The sweet taste already filled his mouth. _Come on, Azula_, he thought, _Show me you're capable of at least doing one thing right._

Azula smirked. "I'm going to enjoy this", she said menacingly.

Zuko panicked when he heard Azula's words. She wasn't going to kill him, was she? "Toph, what's happening in there?", he asked clearly concerned.

"Well", she answered, "Azula's been standing like this for the last few seconds." She imitated the lightning initiation form as well as she could.

It did not put the Fire Lord at ease. His sister was going to finish their father off. Zuko didn't know what to do. Yes, the man was a monster and death was probably what he deserved, but if Azula went through with this, it would ruin everything she had worked for. He would have no choice but to arrest her. It would break his mother's heart, as well as his own. "Toph", the shaking Fire Lord said, "I want you to immobilize her arms from the moment she starts moving them laterally." The earthbender nodded in compliance.

Silence had filled the cell for the last few seconds. Azula had remained immobile. Ozai had a hard time not to smile. He knew he should be looking scared, but the thoughts he imagined going through his daughter's head were music to his ears, and he couldn't thank the girl enough for prolonging his moment of glory. Finally Azula moved. While keeping her malicious smile, she relaxed her arm. "Death is too good for you", she said while turning her back on him.

The Phoenix King couldn't believe his own eyes. Had he just failed in manipulating Azula? Had she just managed to play him? "You are a worthless waste of space", Ozai yelled at her, "Even disgrace would be too good of a denomination for you."

Azula turned around again. "Is that a fact?", she said calmly, "The way I see it, you are the one who'll spend the rest of his miserable life in this prison cell, probably on his own. You are the one who lost his firebending. While I'm free, I still have my firebending, I've got a family who loves me and I'm happy. … And you're calling **me** a disgrace. You're pathetic." The princess turned around again and headed for the exit. "Goodbye", she said as she opened the door, "… Ozai."

Ozai was outraged. "Get back here!", he yelled, "I'm not finished with you." But it was no use. Azula had closed the door behind her, never to return. She was finished with him.

"I don't think I've ever heard him this mad", Zuko said as his sister left the room, "Nevertheless, you almost killed him. What were you thinking? It could have ruined everything for you." He didn't want to raise his voice at his sister, but he felt like he had to. He was concerned. He cared for her. He didn't want to see her throw away her life.

"Oh please, Zuko", Azula protested as they headed for the exit, "I never planned on actually generating lightning, I don't even know if I can do it again. Besides, even if I did, the metal cage would have absorbed the bolts. I just wanted to play him, like he played me all these years. I wanted to let him feel what he did to me."

The Fire Lord calmed down. "I see you haven't unlearned your old tricks", he said, "… and there's still a slight bit of sadism lurking in your mind, as well."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not as humourless as you are", Azula jokingly apologized.

"Hahahaha", Toph laughed, "You know, Zuko, I'm really starting to like your sister."

Zuko wasn't humoured at all. "Well then", he replied in annoyance, "Why don't you become her bodyguard instead?"

"Oh come on, Zuzu", Azula tried to cheer him up, putting her hand on his shoulder, "Don't be a sore loser. We were only teasing you." The Fire Lord took a deep breath and managed to produce a faint smile. It was this kind of moment that proved him that he had done the right thing, sending Azula to their mother. It was that journey that had given him back his sister. Ridiculous risk or not, he knew it was the only way.

By the time the threesome had arrived back at the palace, the time for the banquet had come. A servant informed the entering Fire Lord that all the guests had arrived and were waiting at the dining room. Zuko thanked the man and sent Toph to the room. He still had some things to arrange with Azula. The princess herself was quite confused with this statement. Hadn't everything about her freedom been worked out in the previous month. Slightly curious, she followed her brother to his study, where he seemed to look for something in his desk. After a few moment he took something wrapped up in a dark red cloth out of the drawer. "I guess this is as good a moment as any", he started and handed the mysterious item over to his sister, "I want you to have this, Azula."

The princess started unwrapping the gift. Her eyes were wide open in amazement as she saw the artefact it contained. "This has been lost for over a hundred years", Azula stated in awe, "Where did you find it?"

"Uncle Iroh gave it to me", Zuko answered, "And no, I don't know how he got hold of it. He said it symbolized me. The headpiece of the crown prince, worn by both crown prince Sozin and Avatar Roku, both of which were my great-grandfathers. It symbolizes you just as much though, you descended from the same lineage as I did."

"So that's what father meant with 'a lineage of traitors'", Azula realized, "I'm honoured, of course, but … shouldn't the crown prince wear this?"

"It hasn't been worn by the crown prince for some generations now", the Fire Lord replied, "Like I said: it's yours. You can do with it whatever you want. … Besides, as long as I don't have an heir of decent age, you're still next in line for the throne, even th…" Azula's hug immediately stopped Zuko. That particular crown was indeed a perfect symbol for the recent changes in her life and she was extremely thankful that Zuko offered it to her. When she finally let go of her brother, he had already forgotten what he was saying. "I'm glad you like it", he said, "Now, let's not keep the guests waiting any longer." Azula smilingly nodded.

The Fire Nation princess looked around, as she and her brother entered the dining room. There were about twenty people sitting at the table, but she had never seen most of them. One thing was for sure though: they weren't noblemen. While this would have annoyed her gravely a year ago, she considered it a relief this time. Her new family could hardly be called noble, and she knew how intolerant the so-called upper class could act towards peasants. In fact her recent life among commoners had left her with a bit of a grudge towards higher circles. She noticed a free seat in between her little sister and her uncle and assumed it was hers, considering it was the only one available except for the one at the top of the table, which was obviously Zuko's. She sat down and took a look to see if she recognized anybody. The Fire Lord did indeed move towards the head of the table. On the opposite side sat the Avatar. Mai sat on Zuko's right side and Ursa on his left side. On the Avatar's right side sat the Water Tribe girl who had defeated her on the day of the comet. Opposite to Azula sat Ty Lee. "May I have everyone's attention, please", the Fire Lord raised his voice. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at the young man. "Thank you", he timidly continued, "I'm not really good at this, but here it goes." Zuko's voice shook with uncertainty. There were a lot of things he wanted to say, and yet he didn't want to say anything at all. He never had been the person to give a speech like this and his words came out awkward to say the least. "… As you all know I invited you because you are all amazing people, who have attained great achievements and played an important role in my life, and for that you earn my eternal respect and gratitude. … I know I have done some bad things in the past, and I know it would be foolish to assume I can repay you with a simple dinner, but I hope you will accept this banquet as a token of my appreciation and I am overjoyed to see you have all accepted the invitation. If it wasn't for all of you, I would never have achieved what I achieved today, and I can't even dream of realizing what some of you have realized." The Fire Lord exchanged a look with his sister. Azula just looked away shyly. Surely he didn't mean her with his final remark, did he? A hand on her left shoulder started her as she sank away in thoughts. It was her uncle. He didn't say anything. He just smiled and nodded, as if to say he were proud of her too. Azula smiled and blushed. Soon it turned into a chuckle though, as Iroh's stomach started grumbling. She had to admit that her brother's speech was indeed getting a bit too long for comfort, though Zuko's increasing struggle with words did make up for it. "I'll dike to … err I'd like to dec… err dedicate this meal to all of you, and as I've noticed that some stomachs are getting impatient." The entire table laughed softly. "I suggest we start eating." As the Fire Lord sat down a sigh of relief escaped his lungs. He was glad it was over. He lifted his glass, and, apart from Tara, the entire table followed his example. "Ganbei", he said. The others repeated it in chorus, the banquet could finally take off.

**The end**

* * *

**You read it right: It's over. The Azulyssey has come to an end and I hope you all enjoyed it. I know some of you did, and I know I did. I'd like to thank all my reviewers, all the people who added the story, or even me, to their favourites or alert list, and all the other readers. I really do think this is one of the best things I have ever written (better than my batman fic).**

Anyway, I'm not sure if people are interested in this kind of information, but here are some of my sources of inspiration, when it came to naming people or places, etc.

Lin and Tara were just names that seemed fitting to me.

Lanzhao (one of the White lotus members): I'm not sure, but I think the Chinese place name Lanchou might have been an inspiration

Leo: The name of one of the captains in house of flying daggers. I thought it fitted as Leo and Ursa both seem to refer to an animal

Dai Fu (the doctor Ursa hired): chinese for doctor

Bandao: Chinese for peninsula

Jin Xing (the planet Azula refers to in her flashback): Chinese for Venus.

Blister Lake: a literal translation of Blaarmeersen, a recreation park (with a lake) in the city of Ghent (Belgium)

My zodiac is based on regular chinese zodiac: if Azula was born in a Dragon year, Zuko had to be born in a Tiger year. I just changed Tiger to Polar Leopard to avatarize it.

The cameo in chapter six, which was so subtle that no one found it, was the Joker.

**That's it, I think. Nope, no romance, no ships, there's enough of those stories as it is already. I hope I didn't leave any loose ends and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Feel free to leave a review about the chapter or about the whole story. Oh and if you happen to be from viacom or one of the creators of avatar and want to make a film out of this story (which I highly doubt, but you never know), I'd like to be credited as "Thomas de Wilde" (as that's my name). Time for me to take a well-earnt break from writing. See you all later.**


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